Thursday, July 26, 2012

Two Words

I've never done a link-up before, but her question intrigues me:

What is saving your life right now?

And after reading her answer, and finding it's not some rote, Sunday-school response, but real and practical and in-this-moment, I think I just might give it a try.

What's saving my life right now is two words.

Just two.

This from the person who almost always has more than enough words.

Over the last few months, God has been very choosy about what He speaks to me when I listen.  There are rumblings of multiple thoughts and ideas, but only two words are clear and repeated and undeniable.  I think He might be speaking so judiciously out of a plan to get me to focus.

The first is SLOW.

A foreign concept to me.  I am rarely slow, and to slow causes me anxiety.  I have been hearing this one for a while now, but wasn't certain how to obey.  I started doing individual actions slower, and praying and meditating on verses that relate to "slow" and "rest" and "be," but nothing really sunk in until last week.  Josh told me I seemed really scatterbrained, and I agreed that I was.  I was all over the place and had no idea how to fix it.  He asked what I needed; I said I didn't know, but if I had a client like me, I might suggest a break.

Long story shorter, I will be taking an extended break this fall- from shooting, editing, therapy, research, etc. I haven't even really wrapped my head around it or sorted out details, but we both feel peace that this is glorifying to the Lord.  And if I am honest, it's part of what's saving me right now.  I have lots more to say, but that will come another time.

The second is LEAN.

He spoke this to me Friday for the first time, so there has been significantly less fleshing-out of this concept for me.  But the thing that sticks out to me, that I love, is that to lean is an action.  It is not passive, it is something I can do.  I don't know why that makes a difference but it does.  And if it is important enough for God to say it clearly in this time of limited speaking on His part, it's important enough for me to follow.

What is saving your life right now?

Linking to

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Delete Distraction

I did something today that I am pretty sure I never thought I would do:

I deleted my Pinterest boards.

{FULL DISCLOSURE: I will continue to have a membership for if I need to search something specific, and a board for my clients.}

Yeah, I know.

It's something I believe I've felt the Lord leading me to for a few days now, but it {sadly} has taken that time for me to be obedient.

Because I like Pinterest.  Neat little organized virtual bulletin boards, what could be sinful about that?

But for me it was heading in that direction.

I love the concept, and I've been on there for a long, long time now.  The promise of perfection, of a Martha-Stewart-perfect world in which everything looked beautiful all the time.  Of efficiency, originality, creativity.  {Would you believe, though, that it has in many ways stifled my creativity????}  I had hundreds of pins, representing more time searching and browsing than I care to admit.  It began as a useful tool- a place to get ideas for and organize Christmas gifts and recipes.  I was drawn to the control of it all- no mess, no uncertainty, no real life.

But it has become a crutch and a temptation.  I've known since I was very young that whatever I do, I give 100%.  That has been a blessing and a curse.  Pinterest has become like one more to-do list in the back of my head, one of pressures and "shoulds" and I'd-be-a-better-wife-if and comparison and discontent and it brought me back to something I said when talking to a dear friend earlier this month:

"I just don't have time for satan's games."

We are on this earth for just a very short time.  I want to be full of Jesus, overflowing with the Holy Spirit with love to others.  I don't have room or time or resources to spare- we have a purpose and a calling and a reason He has placed us on this earth.  I am so grateful God opened my eyes before this became more of a issue.  Now that I've divorced myself from it, I am able to see more clearly what I distraction it had become.

And that is what scares me- distraction.

I've shared a lot on here about our desire to live simply.  Purposefully.  Free {as much as possible} from distractions.  We have very obviously seen the acquisition of material goods as distracting to us.  It's like every time you buy something new, satan whispers "More, more."  He is the father of lies, and he will do anything he can to get us to believe that Jesus isn't enough.

And that is a big, fat lie.  Jesus is enough.  No amount of perfect recipes or decor or fashion or crafts is going to satisfy.  They are here and gone, and leaving us wanting more.  But He is so faithful, drawing us near, loving, teaching, merciful, and caring.  He loves us as we REALLY are.  I'd rather work on that relationship than on false perfection any day.

I feel a little more free already.

***DISCLAIMER: This is not to be seen as a commentary on Pinterest in general, but on my personal experience.***