And So I Take A Stand (Even a Tiny One)

Disclaimer:  These thoughts are to my fellow followers in Christ (or to non-followers who want the behind-the-scenes view of what Christians talk about to each other).

In the past month, there have been 2 mass shootings, a large-scale drought, the international athletic celebration that happens but once every four years, political unrest in many parts of the world, and almost 200,000 children have become newly orphaned.

In short, there has been a lot going on.

What strikes me as strange, however, is that those aren't the issues I am hearing or reading most about.  In contrast, the Chick-fil-A debate/debacle/drama is all over my news feed and feed reader- still.

There is so much I could say, and so much that has already been said.  Rachel Held Evans has a nice synthesis of the issue here, and I'm also liking this post.  Visit those posts for far better writing and more complete thought and whatnot; I figure since they already did it, why waste my time?

But as I listen to all the Chick-fil-A related rumblings out there, I am reminded of something my mom used to tell me when I was a kid:  As Christians, we are already selling a message.  She always reminded/reminds me that there are only so many causes you can take on before they begin to get watered down.  And I have to wonder if we haven't missed the mark here, if engaging in heated debate and boycotting the restaurant or posting pictures to support it isn't overextending ourselves.  I like what Rachel Held Evans says about drawing an imaginary line between Christians and the GLBT community where there doesn't need to be one. Is that what we want?  To push this group of people even further from Christ?

This whole topic brings up so many issues for me that I have been learning about and working on for the last few years.  God is stretching me and molding me and it's scary to even share that.  I hope someday I have the guts to share the rest.

What I know for certain is this- I want to see all people have relationships with Jesus, including those from the GLBT community.  Jesus loves each of them so much, and I want to tell them that.  And while I want to be bold for the Lord, I think that it can usually be done in a kind and caring manner.  After all, I don't think anyone who's GLBT is going to sign up for a relationship with Jesus because I shove a Chick-fil-A bag in their face.  I would rather use that time and energy to love, encourage, and to hear their story and tell them they matter to Jesus.  This may sound like a ridiculous naive view, but it's surprising how many people from the GLBT community have been told only horrible, hateful things by the Christian community.  I wonder what would happen if we simplified our message, if we just started loving and praying.  If we let God be the convictor, and instead we were the servants.  What would happen if we gave Jesus the space to move?

Why I Dislike School Breaks

I have a few weeks of school break right now, and it’s totally throwing me.   

Confession: I despise school breaks.  I know, I’m a freak- there, I said it for you.   

Don’t get me wrong- when I was a kid I looked forward to school breaks just like any other normal kid.  Mine were always filled with day camps and parties and playdates and enrichment classes and family time, and I loved every second.

Somewhere along the line, all that changed.

School breaks mark some of the most stressful and depressed times of my life.  I didn’t even realize this until last fall, but since then I’ve thought a lot about it.  I think I’ve discovered the reason behind the insanity:

I have ridiculous expectations.

So, that’s pretty much the story of my life, but it gets especially out of hand on school vacation.  During the school year, I am completely busy with going to school full time and running a business.  I find I cut myself a little slack (lest I die from over-exertion).  However, in the back of my mind I am always making promises that when finals are over I will:

Finish decorating the house (perfectly, of course)…

Return all those emails and facebook messages…

Catch up on all my photo editing…

Organize the file cabinet…

Do spring cleaning…

Get in shape…

Visit all the family and friends we miss…

Handwrite letters…

Make those sewing alterations…

Apply for scholarships…

Update my [long-neglected] blog…

Look at PhD programs…

Begin my research for next year…

Take cookies and introduce ourselves to the neighbors we haven’t met since we moved here in September…

Finally create and order our wedding photo book… 4 years after we got married…and did I mention I’m a photographer?!

And a million other things.  All within the 3 week time span I have off from school.  Oh, and I will rest and relax so chronic illness doesn’t rear it’s ugly head.

But it just never works out that way.  Instead, I get sick as a result of pushing my body too hard the last semester.  And I do too much too soon since I set expectations that were too high, so I spend the entire break feeling icky.  I have no structure or deadlines so I don’t know what to tackle when; I feel like I run in circles.  I panic because I only have ___ number of days left to get all this done!!!  I begin to feel purposeless.

It doesn’t feel much like vacation.  

I wish I could wrap this post up in some cute, neat little package, complete with a “life lesson.”  I know I could write about God’s mandate for us to rest, or about balance, or relaxation, or not finding our value in efficiency.   I see that potential there, but that’s just not where I am at right now.  I want to be sincere with you, and right now that is just to leave it open-ended.  To sit with the discomfort.  To accept reality right now for what it is.  It might not be ideal, but it’s real and genuine… and I can live with that.

What is your reality right now?

More of Africa

Without really being intentional, we've more or less put Africa aside since we got home.  There has been a lot to organize, and digestion is best one bite at a time.  Since the new year, we have started to examine it again, to mull over what God taught us, how He might use us, and where we should go from here. 

While going through pictures for the blog makeover (thank you Tara!), I came across tons more that I haven't shared with you.  In fact, I realized I haven't had pictures on here in a long time.  I guess that comes with the territory of having a photography blog.  However, I know that God didn't give me the privilege of capturing these images just so I can keep them to myself.  Although there are too many for me to narrate every one, I am hoping He might use the images themselves to speak to someone or many someones...maybe even you.

For today, I'll start with those from the header, plus a few extra:

Some of the kids I taught at Kwakwas:

Rundu, Namibia:

Me holding one of our little ones at the preschool, Josh with one of our youngest from the youth program:

Malawi:

Dune 7, Walvis Bay, Namibia

Kids from Hope's Promise and the Youth Program:

Aren't they precious?

Some of our preschool girls.  This picture always reminds me of little old ladies at a salon : )

Kwakwas

Attitude is Nine-Tenths of the Law

As we wrapped up our time in Africa, I looked back over some of my old journal entries and found a few that I would like to share. Today's is from February 23, 2010:
________________________

We are trying to straddle so many areas of life at once right now. We are trying to wrap up ministry and leave relationships in a good place. We are planning our overland trip. We are packing. We are trying to take care of grad school and housing and jobs for home. At times I feel like my head is just spinning.

Through all this change, Lord, help me to focus on you, and to know that everything here on earth is temporary.

“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered-how fleeting my life is.
You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
At best, each of us is but a breath.”
-Psalm 39: 4-5

Today in “Streams in the Desert,” it says

“Every difficulty and every temptation that comes our way, if we receive it correctly, is God'sopportunity.”

That's a thought-provoking idea, and one that should liberated us from fear of difficulty and temptation. But, the clear stipulation is that you have to receive it in the right way. I am not sure exactly what that means, but it sounds like it has a lot to do with attitude. I pray I can grow to have a learning attitude towards trials and challenges, because they are always going to be a part of life.

Tie-Dye

Recently we tie-dyed at the youth program, and it was so much fun! The kids hadn't ever done anything like it before, and they thought it was pretty magical.

Love love being able to see the world through a child's eyes- they are so impressed with all the little things I take for granted- colors, learning, music, weather, animals. I am often convicted about how little of God's creation I appreciate adequately.

I was supposed to come here to take care of them. What's extra-special is that I find myself learning from them every day.

Kwakwas

The educational system in Namibia (although one of the more developed in Africa) is so disparate to that in the United States that I am sure I can never adequately highlight the differences within the context of a post that covers an entire week. Here is what you should know:

Farms are more like sparsely populated, far spread communities in the countryside than what we are used to at home. Often times, these communities share schools, and the students may have to walk for several miles to reach them. They may only go up to grade 7 or 10, and if that is the case, the students’ education usually stops there, which will exclude them from many employment opportunities.

Kwakwas (sounds just like it’s spelled) is a farm school on the Kwakwas farm outside of Rehoboth. Each morning, all the teachers (4 of them for 7 grades, and 3 right now due to illness) are transported via combi (a large van) to the school. It takes around 45 minutes to get there.

The children that attend Kwakwas usually have parents that work on the farms. Almost all of them speak Nama as their first language, made up of complex clicks and sounds- it is very difficult to learn if it is not your first language. They are often very, very poor, and most receive their clothing and shoes from Catholic Aid or the school. They wear uniforms to school, but the dress code cannot be super-strict, because if they grow out of the clothes or if they are ruined, it may be some time until they can be replaced.

The curriculum for my class (grade 2) came from a 150-page book that lists all the educational goals of students in grades 1-4. Subjects taught are “maths,“ environmental studies, art, religious and moral education (in which they are exposed to both Chrisitianity and “traditional religions,“ Afrikaans, and English (which means they are expected to know 3 languages by the time they reach grade 4). One of the biggest challenges is that it does not identify which concepts should be taught in which grades. Knowing that children achieve some significant developmental milestones within that time, it is very important to know what children at each age are actually capable of. Given the fact that many teachers on farm schools do not have degrees in education, this is often difficult to ascertain.

The children receive corporal punishment as discipline.

There is a great lack of equipment. Not only are there no computers or copiers (which means everything must be written on the blackboard), there is no science equipment, calculators, art supplies, playground, and my class doesn’t even have enough pencils (sometimes that is because the kids become hungry and eat pencils or paper). As far as equipment for physical education, I have seen one soccer ball. There are a couple of games and puzzles that were left by previous volunteers, but the children will be closely monitored while using them, or they will steal pieces to take home. Stealing is a major problem; the children have so little, that they just want things to have, no matter what they are. We gave my class pencils that we had labeled with their names, and many of them carry the pencils with them everywhere they go. They are proud to have something that is their own.

Although Kwakwas has been around for more than 50 years, it receives very little help from the government, which is not uncommon concerning farm schools. The only real contribution the government makes is maize meal (corn meal) to feed the children, and usually not enough of that. The school relies on financial support from churches and individuals to remain open.

WWYD (What Would You Do)?

According to a sermon I heard a while back, there are approximately 168,000 martyrs each year for the Christian faith. I feel sick after hearing about one, but 168,000. After serving in China, and being a fan of the Jesus Freaks series, I knew there were present-day martyrs. I thought there were may like 100 per year or something. One-hundred sixty-eight thousand people are dying for Christ each year. Oh, and let’s not forget those that survive, but are maimed and tortured for the faith.

I once heard a sermon from Chuck Swindoll on the mountains and valleys of the Christian life. Essentially, he said that if you aren’t in a valley now, you will be.

Why? Because we are enemies of the Enemy.

Paul tells us no to be surprised at our trials, and exhorts us to be glad of suffering because it makes us partners in Christ’s suffering (1 Peter 4:12-13).

Right.

I am guessing some of you are nodding in agreement. After all, this is not a new verse, and you have surely heard it before. But have you ever REALLY suffered for Christ? As for me, I have endured challenges from being obedient to the Lord, but I am not sure I have ever truly suffered. Not that I am asking for it or anything…it just got me thinking: how far would I go to honor God?

What would you do? Don’t just say “anything” and be done- think it through. Would you sell your house and all your belongings to live in a cardboard box? Would you move around the world to a place where nobody knows you, knowing you could never see anyone you love again? Would you accept circumstances that are “boring” and “everyday” without complaint? Would you continue to follow the Lord if you developed a painful disease or suddenly lost all your loved ones? Would you give up your life, like the 168,000 Christian martyrs each year? Let’s make it harder: would you give up your child’s life to honor God?

Would you give up your child’s life to save one person from eternal separation from God? I’m pretty sure I might not. But God would have given His son for just one of us.

I can’t even comprehend that.

How can we lead others to Christ, knowing they will suffer? Of all the cultures we’ve worked with, Americans are the most terrified of suffering. We expect things to be easy: running water, fast food, email, instant text messaging. To suffer by choice is incomprehensible. However, when people have already experienced suffering, they seem more willing to suffer for Christ. To them, it is a small price to pay for eternal life with the Lord.

I have much yet to learn.