And So I Take A Stand (Even a Tiny One)

Disclaimer:  These thoughts are to my fellow followers in Christ (or to non-followers who want the behind-the-scenes view of what Christians talk about to each other).

In the past month, there have been 2 mass shootings, a large-scale drought, the international athletic celebration that happens but once every four years, political unrest in many parts of the world, and almost 200,000 children have become newly orphaned.

In short, there has been a lot going on.

What strikes me as strange, however, is that those aren't the issues I am hearing or reading most about.  In contrast, the Chick-fil-A debate/debacle/drama is all over my news feed and feed reader- still.

There is so much I could say, and so much that has already been said.  Rachel Held Evans has a nice synthesis of the issue here, and I'm also liking this post.  Visit those posts for far better writing and more complete thought and whatnot; I figure since they already did it, why waste my time?

But as I listen to all the Chick-fil-A related rumblings out there, I am reminded of something my mom used to tell me when I was a kid:  As Christians, we are already selling a message.  She always reminded/reminds me that there are only so many causes you can take on before they begin to get watered down.  And I have to wonder if we haven't missed the mark here, if engaging in heated debate and boycotting the restaurant or posting pictures to support it isn't overextending ourselves.  I like what Rachel Held Evans says about drawing an imaginary line between Christians and the GLBT community where there doesn't need to be one. Is that what we want?  To push this group of people even further from Christ?

This whole topic brings up so many issues for me that I have been learning about and working on for the last few years.  God is stretching me and molding me and it's scary to even share that.  I hope someday I have the guts to share the rest.

What I know for certain is this- I want to see all people have relationships with Jesus, including those from the GLBT community.  Jesus loves each of them so much, and I want to tell them that.  And while I want to be bold for the Lord, I think that it can usually be done in a kind and caring manner.  After all, I don't think anyone who's GLBT is going to sign up for a relationship with Jesus because I shove a Chick-fil-A bag in their face.  I would rather use that time and energy to love, encourage, and to hear their story and tell them they matter to Jesus.  This may sound like a ridiculous naive view, but it's surprising how many people from the GLBT community have been told only horrible, hateful things by the Christian community.  I wonder what would happen if we simplified our message, if we just started loving and praying.  If we let God be the convictor, and instead we were the servants.  What would happen if we gave Jesus the space to move?

Burden

I always miss Africa and the people there with whom we built relationships.  But some days- or most usually, nights- I miss Africa and her children more acutely.  I am deeply burdened, to the point that I experience it physically.  And I pray for them and think about them and love them, but it still hurts. 

And I want it to.

Not because I'm a masochist or experiencing self-hatred or something, but because I know it's part of God's way of communicating with me.  His children are hurting.  They may be a world away, but they are just as important to Him as any other human being.

He uses this pain to speak to me, to us.  Although we've been back for a while now, Josh and I talk- to God and to each other- about Africa all the time.  And He talks to us.  Not in long, drawn-out epics, but in tiny little snippets that remind us of His plan and His heart, and that remind us of where our plans and hearts need to be.

Following Him, at all cost.

And I beg Him to tell me more RIGHT NOW, because how can He expect me to live with this deep, aching pain in my heart if He won't tell me all the details of what to do about it?

But He has His plan, and His timing, and His way.

 ⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.
                                             - Isaiah 55:8-9

I thank Him and praise Him for His Word, for sharing these truths with me.  I am so grateful that, even when I don't know, He does.  I don't need to know, because He is all-knowing and loving and trustworthy.  I cling to these verses, as I have since He turned my heart to see Him in the people of Africa. Not only does He care fore me, but He cares for them, too.

Sometimes it hurts more than I think I can bear.  LOVE hurts.  Not in some 80's ballad sort of way, but in a real, sacrificial, Savior-dying-for-my-sins kind of way.  Jesus uses this burden to chip away at the hollow, hardened shell that is my heart, exchanging it for infusions of His.  All I can do is wait and listen and be revived.

That, and find comfort in the fact that God loves these people more than I do.  Even when I love with my whole heart, it pales in comparison.  He is more than enough for them- and me.

The Truth About Evangelism

As we wrapped up our time in Africa, I looked back over some of my old journal entries and found a few that I would like to share. Today's is from March 16, 2003:
________________________


I was thinking a bit today about evangelism, especially in regard to a couple we have had the privilege of talking with lately, who are both seeking. I know there is so much bad evangelism in the world today, but I wonder what makes up good evangelism. I think the key is not necessarily that you have to know so much about your faith, but rather that you have to believe it. It is only then that you can encourage people to seek truth.

No one is going to be offended by being encouraged to seek truth, because it still respects their right to decide for themselves what they believe truth is. It respects their ability to reason. It prevents you from coming across as if you think you know better than they do. People know, deep down, that they were created for a purpose, even if they aren't sure what that purpose is. This means they know (at least on some level) that they have value, even when they don't always feel like it.

Traditional evangelism, in which we tell others what they need (Jesus), how to get it (prayer, repentance, relationship), and when they need it (now- or maybe yesterday), may certainly work in some situations. But it assumes they want to know our views, and may give the impression that we think we know more than them or are smarter than they are. Far too often, although we have the best of intentions, this pushes people away. It leaves too much opportunity for us to come across as bossy, self-righteous, or condescending. There is too much chance that our human way of doing things (which is often woefully inadequate), will get in the way of the Gospel.

But, if we believe Jesus Christ as truth, we can encourage others to seek truth, all the while knowing that God is faithful to draw truth-seekers to Him.

Sometimes people will ask what you believe, and of course we should use every opportunity to share our Christian faith. But oftentimes I have come into contact with people who aren't really looking for yet another opinion or belief- they want fact. They want truth. They want Jesus, even if they don't know it yet. If they seek truth, they will find Him.

This Is No Sacrifice

We are home in the States, safe and sound.

Even though I have quotes set to continue to load every day for the near future, I felt a pull to post today. After all, this post needs to come on Easter...

Today, as I was sitting at Josh's parents house, I was thinking about Easter and all that it means. It seems that with all of the traveling and reacquainting and settling in and jet lag (we slept 15 hours on Saturday!!!), I have hardly had time to focus on God this weekend. I know most people use "not enough time" as a lame excuse, but I am completely serious and literal about it right now

Of course, that just isn't good enough. It is in these times that we must push ourselves to make time, and to show God that He is our priority.

Everyone goes on about the sacrifices Josh and I have made this last year- being away from family & friends, living in a brutal climate, acclimating to a new culture, etc. And yes, while the last year has been a blessing and privilege in many ways, it has also been a sacrifice. As a result of our decision to be obedient to God's calling on our lives, our families and friends have also had to sacrifice. It has been a challenge for us all.

But when considering "sacrifice", the term is somewhat relative. Relative to the cushy American lifestyle of TV, internet, personal vehicles, homes with multiple bedrooms, vacations, fast food, etc., our choice might look somewhat significant. But this weekend we celebrate God's sacrifice, when He gave His only Son to die for our sins. On a cross; a criminal's death. He was perfect and had done no wrong, but He suffered the consequences of my sin. He died for the salvation of the whole world, but He would have done it for any one of us.

That's real sacrifice. That is the measure against which I want to model my life. To know that my life is no sacrifice, because it isn't really mine at all.

Our dear friend Britt taught a song (by Jason Upton) that has really resonated with me this past year. The chorus says:

"Your thoughts are higher than mine
and your words are deeper than mine.
Your love is stronger than mine.
This is no sacrifice; here's my life."

People often ask us if we will return to Africa. The reality is that we just aren't sure. At this point, it seems that God may be leading us back there, but all the details are hazy and incomprehensible, so really nothing official to report. What I do know is this: I pray God will give us the courage and strength to obey His call, no matter what it might be- whenever, wherever, however. It is terrifying, especially given the fact that we know God may call us to things that are a little different than for most. But what is my life for, if not to do His will? There is nothing I can do to repay Jesus for His mercy, love, generosity, and selflessness. As I see it, all I have to give Him is everything that I am.

Lives that Fill a Book

We are a little isolated here in Rehoboth, somewhat intentionally. Internet is expensive (unless you are willing to succumb to insanity- which I sometimes do), and we don’t have a TV. So, aside from the occasional newspaper, we don’t have many sources for news of the world.

When you are away from everything you know, it is so easy to become distracted, to focus on “there” instead of concentrating on what needs to be done “here.” We know God brought us here for a reason, and that we need to be fully present wherever it is that He puts us, and in whatever task He sets before us. For me, at least, avoiding distractions is key.

So imagine my SHOCK when I read a friend’s blog post that mentioned the earthquake in Haiti. I did a little research, and one of the first things that came up on my search was that as many as 100,000 people are presumed dead- can you imagine such a number?

Lately, God has been really convicting me about the importance of people and relationships, about the power of one. As a task-oriented person by nature, I often need this little reminder. While I have been mulling over how we will explain our time and work in Africa to our supporters and loved ones when we return, He has shown me more of Himself, of His ways. I am very detail oriented, and I love to keep track of facts and numbers and statistics, and no doubt these will play a role in our presentations and conversations. But God has shown me that, to Him, it’s not about the numbers, but about the lasting impact. If 37 people make a “decision for Jesus,” but are then never discipled and taught how to have a relationship with Him, where is the eternal value? If 432 kids come to a camp, but no one takes the time to pour into the lives of individuals, how does that bring them closer to Jesus? However, if even one life is truly changed, heaven celebrates. God loves each person THAT much. To know His opinion on the power of one individual, we only have to look at the life of His Son. Because all of this, the faith that is true and the ability to have a relationship with the Creator of the universe? It started with a baby boy.

I say all this to emphasize one point- it is not a mass of 100,000 people that may have died in Haiti. It is 100,000 individuals, real people with kids and struggles and anxieties and dreams. Give or take (depending on font, spacing, etc.) there are between 2,622 and 3,818 characters in one typed page (according to Wiki Answers). Even if we went with the high end of that estimation, it would take more than 26 pages to type just one character per person estimated dead as a result of the earthquake in Haiti. But honestly, shouldn’t each person get at least one word? There are around 500 words per page (single-spaced), so it would take 200 pages to right just one word for each person- that’s a book! I tell you these facts because I need quantification, to have a representation in terms I can just begin to understand. The magnitude is staggering. Every one of those words represents an entire biography.

While living in Africa, I have witnessed oppressive poverty and suffering. One of my most fervent prayers has been that God would not allow my heart to grow calloused to the pain around me. It is so easy to adapt, to think of it as normal. God has blessed me with the ability to hurt for others here, to feel compassion, to have the motivation to act and to love. At times my heart just feels raw from emotion, almost painful…but that’s what it takes to really care…The reality is that we need to care for the poor in all times, not just when there is a crisis that makes the 6:00 news. How many times have I turned a blind eye to the suffering of others???

And then to see yet more pain- I couldn’t help but just cry, and cry out to God- Why? I will never understand tragedy like this; I will never understand how it glorifies Him. I imagine many people are asking the same question, and wondering how a loving God can allow this kind of suffering. I don’t know. But, I am reminded that His thoughts are higher than mine, from a verse that I have very much come to rely on this year:

“ “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher that your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” ”- Isaiah 55:8-9

It is such a comfort to me to know that I don’t have to understand it, that I don’t have to be able to explain it all. To believe Him, to trust Him- it’s enough.

Jesus and Hoarfrost

When we first arrived in Namibia, people complained about the weather. All. The. Time. Just like people at home, people seemed to connect through shared challenges- one of those “Misery loves company” things, I suppose. In Minnesota, we get the best of both worlds to “connect” about- 100°F heat and 100% humidity in the summer, and -70°F wind chill in the winter; commiseration is only a conversation away. Of course, here we use Celsius, so the numbers are never quite so impressive. Interesting fact: Fahrenheit and Celsius match up at -40°, which means people can imagine how cold it might be (but only imagine- it has never gotten anywhere near there in Namibia).

Anyway, after about 2 days of hearing and participating in the negativity, I decided something had to change. If you live in a foreign country, you aren’t allowed to be negative- you will drive yourself crazy with all the little cultural differences that irritate you.

That being said, I want to detail the heat here for all you snow-covered folks at home. (BTW, we aren’t having a white Christmas. Maybe there will be a sandstorm, and it can look sort of like a blizzard). Personally, I know I’d want to know, so here is the reality:

I L-O-V-E sunshine, and in comparison to living here, we have basically been deprived of it our entire lives. But, the sun here is much hotter, and your skin feels like it’s on fire at times, even when you aren’t sunburned. Instead of getting great tans, we hide from the sun as much as possible. It’s so bright that, even when you wear strong sunglasses, you still get a headache.

Everyone sweats all the time. Constantly, and from every orifice of your body (except the eyes-I don’t think my eyes sweat). It doesn’t matter what you are doing- you wake up in a pool, sweat while you sit, stand, eat, talk, write, listen, anything. You sweat immediately after your shower (probably during, too), which makes it hard to find the motivation to even take one sometimes. Yes, I have gone for 3 days here without a shower- disgusting, but sadly it makes little difference. It is a workout just to move. We have started doing the majority of our work in the morning and evening, since we are completely ineffectual during the blistering afternoons.

Recently we were playing sand volleyball (which goes without saying- every sport here is played in the sand), when Josh’s shoe started to fall apart. The sand was so hot, it literally melted the glue that was holding the sole of his shoe together. Food, candles, crayons, thin plastic, and soap melt- and not just when they are sitting in the sun. We don’t have a thermometer, which is fine because we’ve been told that some of the temperatures we will reach won’t register properly.

Because yes, it’s only going to get hotter.

During our winter/ U.S. summer, we heard rumor that we should get rain in November. Still waiting. I guess the fact that we got a little rain in September messed everything up, and now the rains won’t come until January. When they arrive, temperatures start to cool down a bit- to 90 or 100 degree F.

Last year, God blessed me with the forthought to bring two pictures with us to remember the snow and be able to show it to people. The hoarfrost is beautiful, and it makes me colder just thinking about it.

When I feel like I’m melting, Jesus and hoarfrost are the only things keeping me going.

*********************************************************************************
It has now, officially, rained!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘Tis the Season, Part II

I am a traditionalist. I like repetition, continuity, knowing what to expect. I won’t have that this year. But the reality is that, even if Namibians celebrated Christmas exactly as we do at home, it wouldn’t be the same. But draw back, look at the big picture. It is not the traditions alone that are special, it is time spent with family and friends that makes the holiday season fun and exciting. Most people stop there, with reminding themselves that Christmas is not about gifts and decorations and parties, and that people are more important. That’s a step in the right direction, just not far enough. Even time spent with loved ones can distract us from the real reason for our celebration.
I know you know the story, but we can never hear it enough. The Son of God humbled Himself to become a part of our world. He was born a tiny baby, precious, helpless, and dependent. He lived life on earth, knew humanity, our struggles, joys, and pain. Jesus Christ became a servant to others. He saw firsthand how sinful and flawed we are, but He still chose to die for us. He chose; nobody forced Him, He did it out of love greater than we can imagine. He took our punishment, in order that we might be saved from our consequences and be able to have an eternal relationship with Him. He would have done it for any one of us.

It all started with a baby, born on this day.

If someone who didn’t know what Christmas was looked at your life during the holidays- how you spend your time, what you say, your behavior- what would they see? I am ashamed to say that I am usually stressed about buying the right gifts and fitting the celebrations into our schedule and food and decorations… I could go on. I get so caught up in celebrating Christ’s birth that I forget I am to reflect Him.
Being away from home for the holidays is so hard. I miss my family and friends more, and I know they miss us. It is not lost on us that we are blessed to be able to say that; many people can’t. But, being away from everything we are accustomed to has challenged me (Josh, too, but I won’t speak for him here). I want to celebrate Jesus without being distracted by things that really aren’t important. I want to be a light, to reflect Him to others. I want to laugh and cry with joy and praise for a Creator that loves me so much that He saved me from my sins. On Christmas, our Savior was born, and that’s more than enough to celebrate.

Heaven

I’ve got 2 questions for you:

1. Would you want to be in heaven if Jesus wasn’t there?
2. “Even if there were no Heaven and no hell, would you still follow Jesus? Would you follow Him for the life, joy, and fulfillment he gives you right now?” -Tony Campolo

For some reason, people think that when you become a missionary you are bestowed with great theological knowledge (I have no idea why). All this does is reinforce how little you know, because they seem to always be asking you questions you don’t know the answers to (the best strategy I’ve found is to have people who are theologians on your email list).

I don’t really know that much about heaven. I don’t think anyone really does; it’s mostly speculation. We know what the Bible says, but it leaves a lot of questions unanswered.

We get a lot of questions about heaven. Why? I think it has to do with the fact that most people, when sharing why someone should become a follower of Christ, use heaven as the main selling point. Don’t get me wrong, heaven is definitely a benefit of salvation. Even though I am not sure on the details, we know it is good because the Bible, the very Word of God, says so. However, there is so much more to being a Christian. That kind of attitude disregards the fact that God can honor and glorify Himself through our life here on earth.

I have learned a bit about heaven here. When you witness to someone, it is vital to be culturally sensitive, not only to avoid offending someone, but also to draw on their frame of reference. For example, it has been brought to our attention that most kids here don’t even know what gold and pearls are, so to talk about streets of gold and pearly gates doesn’t have the same effect as in the States. I have had to rethink how I can explain the concept, and have had to expand and define my view of what heaven is.

What I am certain of is this: heaven is wherever God is. The relationship and communion we will have with Him is what makes it heaven, not what materials it is constructed from. There is no sin to separate us from God. There are colors and sounds and flavors and smells that our senses have never experienced. I am certain I want to go there, in part because the alternative is the agony of eternal separation from God. I am certain I want no one to experience that. I am certain I don’t want to waste God’s gift of salvation on myself, but to share the opportunity with others. Paul said it better than I ever could:

"For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live." -Philippians 1:20-24

Sojourner

Think of the longest time you’ve ever been away from home (with no visits). How did you feel? We are going on 8 months, and although we love it here, there have definitely been challenges. I know some people thrive on change and new environments; I’m just not one of them.

God has been merciful and protected us from major attacks, but there have definitely been bouts of homesickness. I want to stay up late talking with my mom, to hug my dad, to hang out with our siblings and friends. I want to sit on the corn burner and talk wrestling with Josh’s dad, and sewing with his mom. I miss hugs and blown kisses from “our” kids. I miss having a car, and having our friends over, speaking the local language, and being able to understand everything that’s said around me. I miss the familiar, the comfortable- people, church, food, environment, culture, weather, money, communication. I miss the security of “home.” No matter how much I grow to love Rehoboth and its people (which is already a lot), there will always be something missing.

One day I was talking with God about homesickness, and asking Him to keep it from interfering with our ministry, when it hit me: this feeling was not new, just intensified. A part of me has felt it my whole life.

I am homesick for heaven.

I don’t claim to know that much about heaven- the Bible leaves a lot of room for interpretation and discussion- but I do know this: it is our true home, one of complete fellowship, communion, and companionship with God. Yes, we can have this to an extent while on this earth, but this will be so much more, and for all eternity. No matter how much I love people around me and life on earth, there will always be something missing.

With this in mind, I’d like to take the next few days to share what I have been learning about eternity, heaven, and our place on earth.

Love Like Crazy

We were asked to do a video for one of our supporting churches, and in order to get the most mileage out of the effort, we thought we could share it right here.

Easter in Africa

Easter morning we went to our church, and had a perfectly nice service. But…it didn’t really seem like Easter. The pastor was gone for a funeral, there were fewer people present than usual, there was no purple cloth, or white lilies, or little girls in white hats. It seemed like any other Sunday. ( Although we missed it, we heard the church was packed with people dressed in their best for the Good Friday service).

To us, Easter is the anniversary of the most important day in the history of the world. At home, we all go to Sonrise service, wear new outfits, and have a big dinner and egg hunt at Grandma’s afterwards.

All these differences mad me wonder about how many of our traditions are spiritually inspired, and how many are more culturally related. What do you think?

We took some pictures when we got home from church. We would love to see pictures of you and your families!



I love him SOOOO MUCH!

Even when he looks like this...

This one is for Belle. She gave us her Tender Heart Care Bear, so we are supposed to take picures with him and send them to her. She has my "My Little Pony" from when I was little, but I haven't seen a picture yet...

Sunday afternoon consisted of hanging out at the house of two of our teammates. Sunday evening, we all went to another friend’s house, and made and ate pizza for Easter dinner. Non-traditional, but delicious. We learned more about each other’s families and backgrounds, ate jellybeans (not a favorite of mine at home, but delicious when they are the only option), told stories, and pondered theological questions like,

“Which is more important: Jesus’ birth, death, or resurrection?”

Well, what do you think? My thoughts to come in a later post…

WWYD (What Would You Do)?

According to a sermon I heard a while back, there are approximately 168,000 martyrs each year for the Christian faith. I feel sick after hearing about one, but 168,000. After serving in China, and being a fan of the Jesus Freaks series, I knew there were present-day martyrs. I thought there were may like 100 per year or something. One-hundred sixty-eight thousand people are dying for Christ each year. Oh, and let’s not forget those that survive, but are maimed and tortured for the faith.

I once heard a sermon from Chuck Swindoll on the mountains and valleys of the Christian life. Essentially, he said that if you aren’t in a valley now, you will be.

Why? Because we are enemies of the Enemy.

Paul tells us no to be surprised at our trials, and exhorts us to be glad of suffering because it makes us partners in Christ’s suffering (1 Peter 4:12-13).

Right.

I am guessing some of you are nodding in agreement. After all, this is not a new verse, and you have surely heard it before. But have you ever REALLY suffered for Christ? As for me, I have endured challenges from being obedient to the Lord, but I am not sure I have ever truly suffered. Not that I am asking for it or anything…it just got me thinking: how far would I go to honor God?

What would you do? Don’t just say “anything” and be done- think it through. Would you sell your house and all your belongings to live in a cardboard box? Would you move around the world to a place where nobody knows you, knowing you could never see anyone you love again? Would you accept circumstances that are “boring” and “everyday” without complaint? Would you continue to follow the Lord if you developed a painful disease or suddenly lost all your loved ones? Would you give up your life, like the 168,000 Christian martyrs each year? Let’s make it harder: would you give up your child’s life to honor God?

Would you give up your child’s life to save one person from eternal separation from God? I’m pretty sure I might not. But God would have given His son for just one of us.

I can’t even comprehend that.

How can we lead others to Christ, knowing they will suffer? Of all the cultures we’ve worked with, Americans are the most terrified of suffering. We expect things to be easy: running water, fast food, email, instant text messaging. To suffer by choice is incomprehensible. However, when people have already experienced suffering, they seem more willing to suffer for Christ. To them, it is a small price to pay for eternal life with the Lord.

I have much yet to learn.