Friday, September 21, 2012

Wide



Lately, God speaks a little about a lot of things.  For me who craves depth, it leaves me squirmy.  Why does He tell me only bits and pieces, leaving me to wonder and worry about the rest?

It is His way.

I trust Him, and so I trust His way- I guess.  It is uncomfortable, broad instead of deep; wide.

My laser focus for a long time has been work.  This at the expense of relationships... health... balance... recreation... sanity... the more abundant life.

And now it's as if He wants me out of that rut and out of my head, to look wide and up and outside of my drive, and see what He has given.

He gives good gifts, and I am racing right by them.

And I sometimes see and notice, but in a hurried sense- can there be such a thing as hurried gratitude?  That space of "Yes, that's great, but there is more work to be done?"

I did it to be faithful.  An extreme interpretation of this verse, maybe.  I want to honor Him with my life.

Now He's teaching me to wait, commanding me to take a break.  This is a time of cognitive restructuring, and more importantly, a time of heart surgery.  The message I hear lately is

I care more about who you are than what you do.

I hear it, but it's almost as if it doesn't find a home in my consciousness.  So that is what I am working on, accepting this.  Work is not life.  Calling is not even the most important thing.  The tasks God places in front of us are not only by design of what skills and experience we have, but are also (and possibly more) related to how God wants us to grow.

Mind-blowing.

God cares about our hearts that much.

*****

Linking to 5 Minute Friday

3 comments:

Dolly@Soulstops said...

Hi Nicole,

Resonating with your words as I wrote a post on Monday that I am still processing where I am surprised again, at how much, God cares about my heart. Yes, He cares more about our heart and our relationship with Him then about us doing something for Him...the heart with Him then the doing comes out organically, like the fruit bearing from the vine (John 15:5)...linked up behind you at FMF...Nice to meet you :)

Tim and Richelle said...

those first three sentences... i could have written them. seriously!

and like you, i'm thankful He cares about my heart... the hearts of my family and friends... and that all circumstances and difficulties and joys and... that He gifts - they all have the purpose of drawing our hearts closer to Him.

Denise said...

Fabulous post.

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