More Simplifying: A Change of Heart

I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little ashamed of myself. Or a lot. It just kind of depends on my mood.

Africa taught me so many things and changed me in so many ways I could never have anticipated. One of the few I did anticipate is that I would long to live more simply, especially in regards to material possessions. Thankfully, Josh feels the same way, and thus we have embarked on a hard-core self-imposed simplification.
It started before we even got back, when we gave most of our belongings away. It has continued over the summer, with a huge front porch sale, lots of sorting and organizing, and an effort to buy very little.

My heart breaks a little bit every time I find things to get rid of that I didn’t need to buy in the first place. We have 4 or 5 pairs of scissors. Three packages of cup hooks. More than a dozen skeins of yarn. Tons of wrapping paper and gift bags. Things that are certainly not enriching our life. Things bought with money that is needed so much more by others. Even when cutting us some slack because we had to buy some things we already had when our stuff was in storage, it is still too much. And, this is all after already having gotten rid of lots of stuff before we left. Sadly, I would have told you that we had significantly fewer possessions than most people then…and I probably would have been right.

But in all reality, simplifying is not as easy as just getting rid of stuff. That is simply called a “Salvation Army run,” and is a one-time deal. Simplifying requires a change of heart, and a willingness to constantly push against a society that encourages consumerism.

And it is hard.

This is the society we grew up in. We are used to that kind of lifestyle, and a year overseas doesn’t change that. We have made certain decisions to help us out, like focusing on helping others by giving away, and not having a TV with which to receive more brainwashing. Seriously, brainwashing is really not an exaggeration: you do not “need” a certain kind of shampoo or makeup or restaurant food, and don’t even get me started on “must-see” TV… ugh. In order for this change to take root in our heart, it will take time and God’s help. I am trying to be patient, and am trying to remember it is a process and will not happen overnight. I am trying to take it one scissor, one cup hook, one prayer at a time.

The Next Step

Last week, I started graduate school. I am not even sure what to think as I move into this next phase of life and my academic career. To begin with, we’re still adjusting to life back in the United States. I know some of you are probably like, “geez, it’s been 5 months already (I can’t believe it’s already been that long!), but it’s a blink of an eye considering the adjustment we are trying to make. We lived in what seemed like an entirely different world. We had our hearts broken in ways most can only imagine, if even that. It’s a struggle to adjust, and something that will take time.

Additionally, it’s sometimes difficult to give this season of our lives full attention and presence. In some ways, even this next phase seems like a transition period. People are constantly asking us when we are going “back,” as if our return is a given, even thought that was never part of the plan (although it could be now). Even once we decided to go on the mission field, we thought it would only be for 6 months or so. On the one hand, it is comforting, as people obviously see something in us that would encourage them to think we would be a good fit for serving God in this capacity. It’s humbling and reassuring and a quiet confirmation of where we think God may be leaving us. At the same time, it can be frustrating to deal with people’s somewhat demanding expectations, and makes it difficult to be present and focused on where God has put us right now. I don’t believe God wastes time. He is always teaching us and using us. It is just a new challenge for me to be focusing on here and now, even while knowing what is [possibly] next (you never really know- He may just not have revealed His whole plan about that yet!).

I never expected to attend graduate school. I always wanted to go to medical school, and there are times even now when I question my decision to take another path. Since then, I have decided to go to graduate school, applied to one type of program, decided to go to Africa instead, worked in the field, decide on a different type of program, applied, was offered a great deal of money and prestige in a terrific program, and instead turned them down and decided to accept a different program’s offer, which to the average person would seem significantly less enticing.

Rereading that last sentence, it basically sound like I just can’t make up my mind! As someone who loves order and routine and repetition (not that you’d know it from my life as of late), this constant change in direction has been a bit of a challenge. However, I don’t think it means I am crazy or indecisive or unfocused; rather, I think of it as an example of God’s wisdom. I believe He knew (and knows) precisely where He wants me to be, but He also knew I couldn’t take the change in direction all in one step. I am certain there will be many more similar instances of change and growth in my life, but I find it so comforting to be the child of a gracious God who knows my limits. So many times lately, they have been and are being pushed to their borders. I am so glad to now He is loving an merciful enough to accommodate my weakness with His love and grace, even while helping me to overcome them.

Is It Just Me?

For some reason, I am a creature of habit. No, really. Like more than is normal. Sure I love to travel and have periodic reprieves from my patterns, but more often than not trying new things is like running anything more than a mile- every. step. takes my full attention. I blame it on my dad; he is the same way- perfectly content to be home, to be surrounded by what he knows. We like the familiar.

But some habits are best broken sooner rather than later. While preparing for our time in Africa, and while later living there, I had no trouble contributing to this blog regularly. It felt necessary. I could pre-empt other activities with no guilt, no feelings of selfishness; despite the fact I enjoyed putting my thoughts into words, I could convince myself that it wasn't for me- it was for a greater purpose.

Now, writing gets pushed to the end of my to-do list, the same list that is never finished. The tasks remaining at the end of the day are transferred to the next day's list, but there is never enough time to complete them. I can't put my finger on it, but there is just something about that fact that seems wrong to me... I just don't think this was what God intended. Our lives are always... unfinished. We forget we are totally complete in Him before we cross a single item off the list.

I have learned so much in these last few months that I want to share. Even if no one ever reads this blog again, I want them written down, even if only so that I don't forget them. But some of these truths are so mammoth and so life-changing and so challenging that I know my limited skill just can't do them justice. I admit I am intimidated, but I need this. I need to conquer this fear of failure and selfishness and insignificance before they take long-term root. This is me, breaking a habit.

An Update:

I am a terrible person...well, at least I am a terrible blogger. I have hardly written anything since we got home going on 2 months ago. To be sure, we have been SUPER busy and had a ton to adjust to. I remember hearing someone complain about how stressful a [minor] situation was in her life and thinking, i am moving for the second time this month, helping my husband search for a job, interviewing at my new graduate school, launching a business, and adjusting to culture shock to my own culture- and that's all just this week!!! Part of me wanted to shake her by the shoulders and tell her to get a grip. Thankfully, the more rational side of me won out, and I was reminded that everyone is in a different place, and we are called to meet people where they are at. It has been a common challenge.

I am not done with blogging simply because we are back in the U.S. I have dozens, if not hundreds, more stories and pictures to share with you- of ministry, spiritual epiphanies, travel adventures, struggles, and new endeavors. Our life has continued to be eventful. There are fleeting moments when I wish for less stress, but then I realize I wouldn't be able to handle the boredom that inevitably accompanies a stress-free life. I am grateful for what God has given us.

I have missed writing and sharing with you, if for no other reason than it has given me a concrete way to process my experiences, emotions, and ideas. I have missed putting what's inside of me into words, and freeing myself from the duty of keeping it hidden. I will do more of that, but not for a short while. In the first few weeks, it took all of my energy just to adjust to jet lag, see loved ones, and answer the all-to-common question "How was Africa?" It took and takes all of my willpower not to respond with, "Well, how was your last year in a few appropriately brief phrases?" I know people mean well, but it is not exactly a well-thought-out question. But I digress...after the first few weeks, I continued to feel exhausted and under the weather, which I attributed to allergies. After all, we are around allergens we haven't been exposed to in almost 2 years (having left at the end of winter and all).

But as I found out Sunday, it turns out that I have mono. When I think about it, it makes so much sense. It's just that I didn't think of it. The fact that I have an autoimmune disorder that presents almost exactly like mono doesn't help either, but I am happy to know it is something that will eventually go away, and that I am not just incapacitatingly allergic to my beloved Minnesota. With all this in mind, it may be a week or two before you hear from me again, but hear from me you will. We have a lot of catching up to do.

This Is No Sacrifice

We are home in the States, safe and sound.

Even though I have quotes set to continue to load every day for the near future, I felt a pull to post today. After all, this post needs to come on Easter...

Today, as I was sitting at Josh's parents house, I was thinking about Easter and all that it means. It seems that with all of the traveling and reacquainting and settling in and jet lag (we slept 15 hours on Saturday!!!), I have hardly had time to focus on God this weekend. I know most people use "not enough time" as a lame excuse, but I am completely serious and literal about it right now

Of course, that just isn't good enough. It is in these times that we must push ourselves to make time, and to show God that He is our priority.

Everyone goes on about the sacrifices Josh and I have made this last year- being away from family & friends, living in a brutal climate, acclimating to a new culture, etc. And yes, while the last year has been a blessing and privilege in many ways, it has also been a sacrifice. As a result of our decision to be obedient to God's calling on our lives, our families and friends have also had to sacrifice. It has been a challenge for us all.

But when considering "sacrifice", the term is somewhat relative. Relative to the cushy American lifestyle of TV, internet, personal vehicles, homes with multiple bedrooms, vacations, fast food, etc., our choice might look somewhat significant. But this weekend we celebrate God's sacrifice, when He gave His only Son to die for our sins. On a cross; a criminal's death. He was perfect and had done no wrong, but He suffered the consequences of my sin. He died for the salvation of the whole world, but He would have done it for any one of us.

That's real sacrifice. That is the measure against which I want to model my life. To know that my life is no sacrifice, because it isn't really mine at all.

Our dear friend Britt taught a song (by Jason Upton) that has really resonated with me this past year. The chorus says:

"Your thoughts are higher than mine
and your words are deeper than mine.
Your love is stronger than mine.
This is no sacrifice; here's my life."

People often ask us if we will return to Africa. The reality is that we just aren't sure. At this point, it seems that God may be leading us back there, but all the details are hazy and incomprehensible, so really nothing official to report. What I do know is this: I pray God will give us the courage and strength to obey His call, no matter what it might be- whenever, wherever, however. It is terrifying, especially given the fact that we know God may call us to things that are a little different than for most. But what is my life for, if not to do His will? There is nothing I can do to repay Jesus for His mercy, love, generosity, and selflessness. As I see it, all I have to give Him is everything that I am.

Jesus and Hoarfrost

When we first arrived in Namibia, people complained about the weather. All. The. Time. Just like people at home, people seemed to connect through shared challenges- one of those “Misery loves company” things, I suppose. In Minnesota, we get the best of both worlds to “connect” about- 100°F heat and 100% humidity in the summer, and -70°F wind chill in the winter; commiseration is only a conversation away. Of course, here we use Celsius, so the numbers are never quite so impressive. Interesting fact: Fahrenheit and Celsius match up at -40°, which means people can imagine how cold it might be (but only imagine- it has never gotten anywhere near there in Namibia).

Anyway, after about 2 days of hearing and participating in the negativity, I decided something had to change. If you live in a foreign country, you aren’t allowed to be negative- you will drive yourself crazy with all the little cultural differences that irritate you.

That being said, I want to detail the heat here for all you snow-covered folks at home. (BTW, we aren’t having a white Christmas. Maybe there will be a sandstorm, and it can look sort of like a blizzard). Personally, I know I’d want to know, so here is the reality:

I L-O-V-E sunshine, and in comparison to living here, we have basically been deprived of it our entire lives. But, the sun here is much hotter, and your skin feels like it’s on fire at times, even when you aren’t sunburned. Instead of getting great tans, we hide from the sun as much as possible. It’s so bright that, even when you wear strong sunglasses, you still get a headache.

Everyone sweats all the time. Constantly, and from every orifice of your body (except the eyes-I don’t think my eyes sweat). It doesn’t matter what you are doing- you wake up in a pool, sweat while you sit, stand, eat, talk, write, listen, anything. You sweat immediately after your shower (probably during, too), which makes it hard to find the motivation to even take one sometimes. Yes, I have gone for 3 days here without a shower- disgusting, but sadly it makes little difference. It is a workout just to move. We have started doing the majority of our work in the morning and evening, since we are completely ineffectual during the blistering afternoons.

Recently we were playing sand volleyball (which goes without saying- every sport here is played in the sand), when Josh’s shoe started to fall apart. The sand was so hot, it literally melted the glue that was holding the sole of his shoe together. Food, candles, crayons, thin plastic, and soap melt- and not just when they are sitting in the sun. We don’t have a thermometer, which is fine because we’ve been told that some of the temperatures we will reach won’t register properly.

Because yes, it’s only going to get hotter.

During our winter/ U.S. summer, we heard rumor that we should get rain in November. Still waiting. I guess the fact that we got a little rain in September messed everything up, and now the rains won’t come until January. When they arrive, temperatures start to cool down a bit- to 90 or 100 degree F.

Last year, God blessed me with the forthought to bring two pictures with us to remember the snow and be able to show it to people. The hoarfrost is beautiful, and it makes me colder just thinking about it.

When I feel like I’m melting, Jesus and hoarfrost are the only things keeping me going.

*********************************************************************************
It has now, officially, rained!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Namlish

Namlish= Namibian English. Because let's face it: English is pretty much different in every country it's spoken. A little primer for those of you new to this phenomenon:

Torch= flashlight
Flat= apartment
University= college
College=high school
Primary school= elementary school
Hostel= boarding school
Football=soccer
Robot= stoplight
Tekkies= tennis shoes
Pawpaw= papaya
Stay-awake= lock-in
Post= mail
[cell phone] text= sms
Spaghetti= pasta with tomato sauce BUT
Tomato sauce= ketchup
Chips= fries
Crisps= chips
Sweets= candy
Cool drink= cool-aid or pop
Petrol= gasoline/ fuel
Braai= barbeque
Toilet= bathroom
Take-away= take-out restaurant
Rocket= lettuce
Jersey= sweatshirt
Trousers= pants
Pants= underwear
Brother/ sister= make actually be a sibling, or a cousin, or anyone of similar age that lives in the same home
Mobile phone= cell phone
Combi= a sort of shuttle bus
Howzit= how are you?

What I Did on My Thanksgiving Vacation, Part 6

On Saturday, we visited a snake park. It was interesting and educational, but there was always a part of me just waiting for one to jump out at me. They even have a Black Mamba, one of the deadliest snakes in the world (yay!). It was creepy. But, you know, I am up for trying almost anything once.

One of my favorite parts was the sign that said “We only have 3 Puff Adders, and they are very important to us. Please watch your step.” We found out later they only have 2, but they like to see people’s reactions. Hee hee : )

This is a type of poisonous tree snake. It was behind glass (they all were), but it freaked me out because it seemed like its eyes followed you all over the room.

Don’t look at this next one if you are squeamish. It is a _______ snake (no idea what the name is- I was distracted), feeding on a rat. I am no fan of rats, but I even felt a little bad for it. The snake kills its prey by squeezing it to death. I have video, but I think it’s too graphic for this blog. By the way, he swallowed it whole. Yum.

This is a black Mamba, eating a rat. Sorry for the reflection, but I didn’t trust the glass enough to be any closer. I think he looks evil. These guys are super-scary and hyper-aggressive. Sometimes people say they can fly, because they will jump from tree to tree to chase after you. My goal is to never encounter one in real life, because I think I would just wet my pants.

This is a Boomslang (or something like that). It is a poisonous tree snake, but I think its coloring is rather beautiful. Can’t say that for most of these specimens.

The highlight? We held a boa constrictor. For real. And of course I caught it on film, because I need to have visual proof to show people. It actually wasn’t that bad, but once is probably enough for me.  I am smiling on the outside, but the camera caught how I really felt for a second:



My husband, the snake handler:

I think I am really more a giraffe and zebra kind of girl.

Random Thoughts That Float Around In My Brain

So I hope you take the descriptor “random” literally…just wait- these are the observations I have made so far. There are few people who think like this, and if you’re one of them, you should call me up. Maybe we can get a support group or group counseling going or something...

***You know how it’s a big deal in the U.S. to speak a second language? Here you’d be considered a slacker. Because of there being so many tribal languages in a close vicinity, it is not unusual for people to know 5 or 6 languages, and not unheard of to know 9 or 10.

***We have no heating or air conditioning.

***The other day, I was at a local store something like a very small Pamida, and I was looking at a pair of jeans. I realized the button said “Abercrombie.” Thinking this curious, I looked at the label, and sure enough, the store had just slapped their store sticker on the label, and there was an Abercrombie tag. Now, they were selling these for about the equivalent of four dollars (on sale). They were originally about eight. Even though they didn’t have my size, I was tempted…

***There are these obnoxious little thorns everywhere. Teeny-tiny. And everywhere. Walking home from the church one day, I started getting a pain in my lower back, and I didn’t know what it was. Somehow, and I have no idea how, one was lodged in the waistband of my underwear. Like I said, they’re everywhere.

***It is really common for families to be spread out age-wise. For example, the difference between the oldest and youngest child in a family may be such that an aunt and her niece are in the same class at school.

***If you want to stimulate motivation to read Scripture, buy a brand new Bible. It has given me a renewed fervor to examine passages, to highlight, to write notes. Not being able to rely on what I have highlighted or written before has challenged me in new ways.

***Jelly shoes and American music are ubiquitous here. Of course, the music is usually somewhere between 10 and 20 years behind. The other day, we went into a drug store and everyone and their brother was singing along to “Wind Beneath My Wings.”

***The phrase heard everywhere is “Ai Mon” (or something like that). It sounds like “eye mon” (rhyming with don or con). This is what people here say when they are frustrated, like when we would say “shoot” or something similar.

***Josh likes to keep several books going at once, so that he can choose his reading material based on his moods. He will mention how great a book is, and I might begin reading it simultaneously (which works fine since we usually read at different times of the day. Since I can’t stand bookmarks, and since he despises when I dog-ear the pages, I came up with a solution- paper clips- they don’t fall out, they don’t bend, and they don’t get in the way.

***When they write the date here, it’s day first, month second, year third. For example, October 4 is 4/10/09. This can be very confusing. Also, when quoting numbers, the period and comma are switched (ex. Four-thousand three-hundred four dollars and twenty-three cents looks like 4.304,23. Again, rather confusing.)

***The phones here are wonderful. Not that they are cheap, or their reception is any good, or any of the typical concerns. Rather, they have flashlights on them! And screensavers! And you can compose your own ringtones (my personal fave)! Josh is enamored.

***When we first got to London, we were walking the escalator to the Underground (yes, the double-high escalator was out of service), and I kept thinking how rude British people were! Here we are, trying to politely bear right in a crowded venue, when at least half the people don’t seem to care at all. Then it dawns on me: since they drive on the left side, they also bear left while passing each other. Oh my word, I felt like the biggest imbecile on the planet. Makes Matthew 7:3 all the more pertinent, huh? I am just glad I did this in London, because nobody there knows me.

***Interesting trend/habit/cultural tradition (I am not really sure which)- it is common to see women and girls in public with their hair in bright orange or green rollers. Like, really common. Not sure why.

***Another hair trend: braids (I know you’re shocked). Most people don’t go to a salon, they just braid each other’s hair (even little kids know how). The interesting part stems from the fact that people usually add extensions into the braids to give them length, and they sell them everywhere! No joke, I saw them at the grocery store!

***Namibia has year-round school. The school year follows the calendar year. Students are supposed to go until at least grade 10, and then if they meet certain qualifications they may complete grades 11 and 12. They call grade 12 “matriculation,” and have a big party (like prom) in the middle of the year. Although school is public, there is a yearly fee that must be paid for every child to attend school. Computer and physical education classes cost extra. There is no “kindergarten” school level.

***Women carry everything on their heads here. I’ve seen mothers with a basket on their head, a baby on their back, a child on one hip, and holding another child’s hand on the other side. That is talent. Josh and I watched a movie once in which a girl was learning to balance a book on her head. The next day, we saw a woman walking down the street carrying this very large, oddly-shaped vase on top of her head. No contest.

***In the U.S. (in spite of all the skin cancer research) most people enjoy having a tan. Many people pay big money to at least fake having one. In contrast, people here (who have much darker skin) tend to walk everywhere with an umbrella to protect them from the sun. I guess they had to find something to do with umbrellas, since it hardly ever rains…

***People go all-out for 21st birthday parties here (sort of like a quincinera in Latin culture). For those who can afford it, large parties are thrown, and all the attendees dress up and toast the honoree. Kids in the youth group keep asking what I did for my 21st birthday, and are often disappointed when they find out I ate dinner with my family and had French Silk pie.

***The other day, we were in Windhoek and I saw a vintage aqua-colored VW Bug. It made my day.

***The sun here is far more intense than at home. Even when it is not super hot out, you can still feel immense heat in direct sunlight. The sun is also far brighter; Josh and I can’t step outside without sunglasses. The ironic part? Locals NEVER wear sunglasses here!

Sojourner

Think of the longest time you’ve ever been away from home (with no visits). How did you feel? We are going on 8 months, and although we love it here, there have definitely been challenges. I know some people thrive on change and new environments; I’m just not one of them.

God has been merciful and protected us from major attacks, but there have definitely been bouts of homesickness. I want to stay up late talking with my mom, to hug my dad, to hang out with our siblings and friends. I want to sit on the corn burner and talk wrestling with Josh’s dad, and sewing with his mom. I miss hugs and blown kisses from “our” kids. I miss having a car, and having our friends over, speaking the local language, and being able to understand everything that’s said around me. I miss the familiar, the comfortable- people, church, food, environment, culture, weather, money, communication. I miss the security of “home.” No matter how much I grow to love Rehoboth and its people (which is already a lot), there will always be something missing.

One day I was talking with God about homesickness, and asking Him to keep it from interfering with our ministry, when it hit me: this feeling was not new, just intensified. A part of me has felt it my whole life.

I am homesick for heaven.

I don’t claim to know that much about heaven- the Bible leaves a lot of room for interpretation and discussion- but I do know this: it is our true home, one of complete fellowship, communion, and companionship with God. Yes, we can have this to an extent while on this earth, but this will be so much more, and for all eternity. No matter how much I love people around me and life on earth, there will always be something missing.

With this in mind, I’d like to take the next few days to share what I have been learning about eternity, heaven, and our place on earth.

Beat This...

We watched "The Lion King" in Africa. It was so sweet, I had to devote an entire post to the experience. If any of you come visit us, I promise you can watch it, too : ).

I have so many posts in progress right now, it's ridiculous. However, none are ready...not sure when that will happen.

Other random fact: Last night, a Preying Mantis fell on my arm while I sat in bed. Only in Africa...

The Angry American and Hello Kitty

This has been, by far, the strangest week we have had in Africa so far (and that is saying a lot).

Our 4th of July was completely different than usual this year (not terribly shocking, huh?). Saturday morning, we celebrated by blasting “The Angry American” (by far our favorite patriotic song) in our flat. We celebrated with an afternoon braai at the 8-week-team’s house. As this is not America, no one celebrates the 4th of July here, and nobody even knows it’s a holiday. It emphasized to us that the U.S.A. is not the center of the world, like we often seem to think it is. However, I have never been prouder to be an American.


Homemade decorations elevated our patriotism.


The “Hello Kitty“ in the title of this post does not refer to the animated Japanese pop-culture icon, but rather to our new teammate! Kitty arrived with a 4-week team this weekend, and we couldn’t be happier to have her! She will be here for 6 months, and is the only other person scheduled so far to be in Rehoboth after August. We are so grateful for her willingness to serve, and are excited to get to know her.

Wednesday turned out to be an extremely stressful exciting day. As Josh and I were walking to the youth center in the morning, we realized there was a police officer standing on every corner of a particular road. We asked one what was going on, and he said the president was visiting. That explained an enormous SWAPO rally that had taken place in front of our house the night before. While we were meeting with the 4-week team about some youth center stuff, we sat outside, cameras poised (the youth center is along this road). Two hours after his scheduled arrival, we were able to take some pictures of the motorcade. It wasn’t much, but this is Rehoboth, and we’ll take any excitement we can get.



The motorcade, complete with a dozen or so squad cars

The President's actual vehicle.

Within an hour, we found out we needed to move; this was completely unexpected, and we had no notice, but Africa just works differently. Glory to God, we had a different place to stay within 2 hours! It will work well for us, and we are just excited we have somewhere to live.

Since we were dealing with all of this, we weren’t able to lead the youth program as usual, but the 10 people from the temporary summer teams were there, and they did a great job. This bodes well for when we are in Arandis.

For the next 2 weeks, we will be staying in Arandis, where we will be doing some work for Hope’s Promise. We are not certain of the details yet, but we know that I will be doing some sort of counseling, and Josh will be doing some maintenance and repairs, and possibly some work in the schools. It will be an adventure, something that has come up only recently. We are looking forward to seeing how we get to serve, but also a little apprehensive because we aren’t sure of what we will be doing. Please be praying that we will be able to glorify God in whatever we are asked to do!

Insects

Before we came to Africa, everybody asked if we were concerned about the animals- lions, hyenas, but mostly, snakes. Praise the Lord we haven’t come into much contact with any of those. Rather, insects have been our burden. Observe:

The body of this bug is three inches long. We see them all over the place.

I found this spider in one of the bathroom stalls at the youth center when I was cleaning. Not sure what it is, but it moves FAST. I tried to squish it with a towel, but somehow it escaped. I knocked down the web, but it had built a brand new one the next day. Lazy they are not.

This is the first strange insect we saw. It was about and inch and a half long, but we have seen bigger. Imagine the crunch it would make if you stepped on it. We have just learned to peacefully coexist.


During orientation, two little girls informed me that this spider was about 6 inches from my hair. Terrific. I found the next one about a foot away from it. Even better.

Negative

Josh and I are officially HIV/AIDs-free. Shocked? We weren’t, either. We got tested not because we wondered about our “status” (the ubiquitous term here for whether or not you are infected), but rather to gain perspective and insight into the testing process.

HIV/AIDs is a HUGE problem in Namibia. Around one-quarter of the population has HIV/AIDs right now. Pretty much every town has a free testing center. This disease has decimated an entire generation of Africans, and is now working on the next one.

During our in-country orientation, we were taught about the basics of HIV/AIDs. Some facts to remember:
 HIV is the virus that causes AIDS
 HIV is transmitted through bodily fluids, specifically blood, semen, and breast milk.
 There are two main strains of HIV, one primarily present in developed countries, and one present in mostly third-world countries. Far more research has been done on the first type.
 If proper precautions are taken, there is a 8% chance that HIV will be transmitted to a child from an infected mother.
 There is no cure for AIDs
 There is no way to tell whether someone has HIV/AIDs just by looking at them
 AIDs can be treated with anti-retroviral (ARV) drugs, which can extend life while infected from an average of 10 years to an average of 30 years.
 AIDs and tuberculosis are often referred to as twins, because TB is common here, and it is much easier to catch it if you have AIDs. Usually TB is completely treatable, but it can be very serious if you are positive.
 There is still a huge stigma against AIDs in Namibian society, so people hesitate to get tested.
 ARVs must be taken at the same exact time each day, and receiving them requires finding a sponsor who agrees to make sure that happens. This is very difficult to do if the fear of discrimination keeps someone from telling anyone they’re positive.
 AIDs most dramatically effects (and kills) people in their 30s and 40s. This is the age in which people often contribute the most to a society, through financial contribution, raising children, caring for the elderly, volunteer work, and sharing of talents, skills, and ideas.

Before we went to get tested, we were told nothing of the process. We were taken, one-by-one, into a small room, and given an identification number and told to pick a fake name. We then went to a waiting room, and were called into a tiny counseling room, where they ask about past sexual and relational history. After that, you go to another room, have your finger pricked, and they do the test. Then you wait for your results.

Waiting was by far the most difficult part of the experience. I have never had a blood transfusion. I have never so much as kissed any man other than my husband. He has never kissed another woman. I had pretty much zero risk, but there was still a small part of me that wondered. Could something have happened that exposed us to HIV? After all, we are in Africa. The chance is so small there is not a word to accurately describe it, and yet I considered it. I once saw an episode of some “Law and Order”-type show in which a doctor was infected with HIV when he had a blood transfusion after a car accident that took place while he was volunteering in Africa. Far fetched? Of course. But reason and logic are not always top priorities during an experience like this.

While we waited, Josh and I held hands and talked quietly. A couple of men joined us in the waiting room. It made more of an impact- they may have tested positive, may really not have known their results, may have taken part in risky behavior.

We received our results simultaneously, but separately. To be perfectly honest, I felt a sense of relief.

It opened our eyes to the fear that testing can bring. We are grateful to have had this opportunity. It will give us the chance to tell people, from personal experience, that the process is nothing to be afraid of.

The REAL Namibia (written 3/22/09)

Everything I thought about Namibia is wrong.

Well, mostly. It is really hot here.

As it turns out, the resources we relied on most heavily are more focused on eastern Africa (Kenya, Rwanda, etc.). So, not here…

Anyway, after we unlearned what we thought we knew, we were inundated with all sorts of new information. A sprinkling of what we now know is true:

 It is hot. REALLY hot. And very dry. It was around 90 degrees yesterday, and this is Fall.
 The seasons are opposite here. However, given that the temperature will be in the 60s and 70s, “winter” will feel like summer to us.
 At one point, we thought we were going to be coming here in early February. Around that time, we had a cold snap in which wind chills were around -60 degrees. It was around 110 degrees here, which would have made a difference of 170 degrees. I think God just didn’t want our bodies to combust.
 We are living with a host family in a small house. Our host mother has a grandson.
 We have a toilet! After serving in China (see squatty-potties), you can imagine the jig of joy I wanted to perform. I didn’t know anyone here at the time, so I kept it to myself. They say you can only make one first impression. I didn’t want to be known as the girl who gets really excited about plumbing. Incidentally, when toilets flush in the southern hemisphere, the water apparently swirls in an opposite direction than those in the north.
 We begin working with the youth center building tomorrow. We are so excited to meet the people involved!
 The highways in Namibia are in very good condition. Driving rules tend to be a little more (ahem) relaxed, but we will adjust.
 Here we drive on the left side of the road. Actually, we don’t have a vehicle, so we ride on the left side.
 Dye on Namibian sheets is not colorfast. I have the blue hands and feet to prove it.
 Apartheid ravaged Namibia at the same time it did South Africa. There are still very deep wounds as a result.
 Apparently, we are really, really white. Skin color means a lot here. Also, light blue eyes and blonde hair are not common here, so small children love to touch and stare at us, and giggle. We are semi-celebrities in this town. We will never blend in here. I never appreciated the anonymity it is possible to have in the US, but I see it now. Still, I have no sympathy for all the famous people who complain about their lack of privacy. All choices have consequences. Besides, the $100 million salary should take the edge off.
 The Rineer family is lovely. We miss them already.