I just wanted to share a quick link with you- seriously, it will take like 5 minutes to read it. To be honest, I am afraid to even broach the subject, like I am afraid to discuss many. Our time in Namibia turned many of our preconceptions on our head. About giving. About serving. About Love. About evangelism. Most importantly, about God.
Up until this point, our lives since we got home have been about surviving, enduring transition, and clinging to Jesus as we re-integrate to this now-somewhat-foreign culture that used to feel like home. It doesn't anymore. Nowhere does completely (for more, check out this past post). And we are okay with that. It has been a really intense time, in so many ways, and we've sometimes struggled with being real and honest, when everyone wants a happy face and a positive report.
The most often-asked question we receive is [often with a wistful sigh] "Wasn't it amazing?" followed by close second in "I can't imagine the fun you had!"
I nod politely and mumble something about us being at peace that was where God wanted us at the time, but inside I am screaming:
"NO! Are you crazy? It was not fun! How can you think I could enjoy seeing people suffer from disease, death, poverty, hunger, abuse, spiritual lies, and things I could never even write here because most hearts can't handle it?????"
Yes, it was amazing- but not in the way they think. I think the best word to describe it is "satisfying."
My heart is forever broken by the things we experienced. Not that it's not joyful about so many triumphs, but my blissful ignorance was shattered. I have seen a greater hurt, one that only Jesus can heal- but don't read that too quickly. The important part is that Jesus CAN heal.
There is so much I want to say, and so much I need to process. Things that aren't necessarily fun or pretty or peaceful. Please take it all with a grain of salt.
He didn't teach us those hard lessons only for us to keep it to ourselves. If there is one thing we have discovered about our first time out, it's that he was laying foundation.
And that is truly the hardest, and most important part of building anything. I feel it. The weight and responsibility of it. The necessity of not forgetting. Needing to not waste even one moment. Just when I think I can't handle one more tiny bit of stress or change, it has come.
But He has been faithful, so faithful. More than I can ever articulate.
I know He has a brilliant and beautiful plan, one I can't fully see, yet. He is worthy of my trust.
I guess this post didn't exactly go as planned, but that's okay. It's pretty much analogous to life, huh? There will be more on short-term mission trips, and so much else. Please allow me to share with you on this journey.
Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
Adventures in Wonderland: This is no fairytale, Part 3
In those moments immediately following, all I could do was pray and praise God that He had prepared me through multiple First Aid certifications. As a former lifeguard and police explorer, I knew I had had good training.
She was soaked to mid-thigh, crying, and approaching shock within the first thirty seconds. I snapped into adrenaline-fueled composure, picked her up, and set her on the stepstool. It should be said that she is around 60 lbs, and I knew that was going to be a significant amount to carry out. I planned in my head while I stripped off her boots, socks, and jeans. Her feet were freezing, so I put my gloves on her feet. I put my scarf around her neck (I was wearing a vest instead of a coat, so I didn’t have that resource), and her legs in the arms of her coat. Even when I zipped up the coat, it only reached mid-thigh, so I shook off the little bit of snow from the fleece blanket and wrapped it around her (which was a feat in itself, as I had to use one arm to pick her up and one to wrap).
By this time I was already exhausted… and I still had to find some way to get her out of the canyon.
I picked her up and carried her in front of my body. There was a sort of trail through the snow, but her squirming and shivering made things more difficult. She was still whimpering, and I knew I had to distract her, so I had her sing me songs. By the time we got to the bottom of the stairs, I was already completely out of energy.
I knew I couldn’t set her on the snow, but I couldn’t hold her anymore. I sat down on the snow-covered step, and held her on my lap. Thankfully, my parents had given me moisture-wicking long underwear for Christmas, because I was soon soaked through to the skin (they dried my skin soon after standing). The last thing we needed was to have us both wet and freezing. My muscles we already burning, but I knew I had to hurry to get her in the car.
I stood her on a step and put her on my back. I used one arm to hold her and one to hold onto the railing. The stairway was treacherous, and it wouldn’t have taken much for us to tumble down the stairs. Then we would be in REAL trouble.
At the top of the longest staircase, I could hardly breathe. I was berating myself for not being a gym rat, but I don’t think that would have helped much. I sat down and held her on my lap again until I caught my breath (thank you, lingering bronchitis). When I put her on my back again, she started saying she was scared and afraid I would drop her- it was a LONG way down. I reassured her and continued on.
We finally made it to the top of all the stairs. I just wanted to collapse. While I was carrying her the rest of the way to the car (in front of me know, because she was too weak to hang on), I thought of the car keys. I had her put them in her jeans pocket.
Her jeans were in the canyon.
Then I remembered that when we had come back to get her coat, we had switched the keys to her coat. Thank you, God.
I sat her on the hood of the car while I unlocked it (no remote here), and put her in the backseat. Thankfully, my coat was still in the car and was warm and dry. I found a towel in the trunk, cranked the heat on high, and climbed into the back of the car with her. I kept talking to her while I stripped off anything wet and re-bundled her. I blew warm air on her feet- praise the Lord they were pinkish red and not white. At that point I knew she was okay. After a hot bath, a good meal, and some warm, dry clothes, she was as good as new.
Now, looking back over the day, I praise God for taking care of us in so many ways.
We just happened to have left the tripod.
I just happened to bring the blanket and stepladder.
It just happened to be well warmer than usual.
I just happened to get long underwear for Christmas.
We just happened to go back for Belle’s coat.
We just happened to move the keys.
We just happened to leave my coat in the car so it was warm and dry, even though I’m usually freezing.
Since I don’t believe in coincidences, this looks like God’s work to me. He is so good.
She was soaked to mid-thigh, crying, and approaching shock within the first thirty seconds. I snapped into adrenaline-fueled composure, picked her up, and set her on the stepstool. It should be said that she is around 60 lbs, and I knew that was going to be a significant amount to carry out. I planned in my head while I stripped off her boots, socks, and jeans. Her feet were freezing, so I put my gloves on her feet. I put my scarf around her neck (I was wearing a vest instead of a coat, so I didn’t have that resource), and her legs in the arms of her coat. Even when I zipped up the coat, it only reached mid-thigh, so I shook off the little bit of snow from the fleece blanket and wrapped it around her (which was a feat in itself, as I had to use one arm to pick her up and one to wrap).
By this time I was already exhausted… and I still had to find some way to get her out of the canyon.
I picked her up and carried her in front of my body. There was a sort of trail through the snow, but her squirming and shivering made things more difficult. She was still whimpering, and I knew I had to distract her, so I had her sing me songs. By the time we got to the bottom of the stairs, I was already completely out of energy.
I knew I couldn’t set her on the snow, but I couldn’t hold her anymore. I sat down on the snow-covered step, and held her on my lap. Thankfully, my parents had given me moisture-wicking long underwear for Christmas, because I was soon soaked through to the skin (they dried my skin soon after standing). The last thing we needed was to have us both wet and freezing. My muscles we already burning, but I knew I had to hurry to get her in the car.
I stood her on a step and put her on my back. I used one arm to hold her and one to hold onto the railing. The stairway was treacherous, and it wouldn’t have taken much for us to tumble down the stairs. Then we would be in REAL trouble.
At the top of the longest staircase, I could hardly breathe. I was berating myself for not being a gym rat, but I don’t think that would have helped much. I sat down and held her on my lap again until I caught my breath (thank you, lingering bronchitis). When I put her on my back again, she started saying she was scared and afraid I would drop her- it was a LONG way down. I reassured her and continued on.
We finally made it to the top of all the stairs. I just wanted to collapse. While I was carrying her the rest of the way to the car (in front of me know, because she was too weak to hang on), I thought of the car keys. I had her put them in her jeans pocket.
Her jeans were in the canyon.
Then I remembered that when we had come back to get her coat, we had switched the keys to her coat. Thank you, God.
I sat her on the hood of the car while I unlocked it (no remote here), and put her in the backseat. Thankfully, my coat was still in the car and was warm and dry. I found a towel in the trunk, cranked the heat on high, and climbed into the back of the car with her. I kept talking to her while I stripped off anything wet and re-bundled her. I blew warm air on her feet- praise the Lord they were pinkish red and not white. At that point I knew she was okay. After a hot bath, a good meal, and some warm, dry clothes, she was as good as new.
Now, looking back over the day, I praise God for taking care of us in so many ways.
We just happened to have left the tripod.
I just happened to bring the blanket and stepladder.
It just happened to be well warmer than usual.
I just happened to get long underwear for Christmas.
We just happened to go back for Belle’s coat.
We just happened to move the keys.
We just happened to leave my coat in the car so it was warm and dry, even though I’m usually freezing.
Since I don’t believe in coincidences, this looks like God’s work to me. He is so good.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Adventures in Wonderland: This is no fairytale, Part 2
One of our Princesses (yes, we have connections to royalty : )) has been staying with us this week. We are very close, and after living on the same street this summer, it has been some much-needed quality time. Josh and I don’t have any kids yet, but we have some that we absolutely cherish and love spoiling.
I recently photographed an engagement shoot at a local frozen waterfall, and I have wanted to take Princess there since then, and thought this would be the perfect opportunity. I felt a little unsure, like maybe it was unwise to take her to this place by myself (Josh was at work). What if I fell and broke my ankle? What if we got the car stuck? What if….?
But, not wanting to live in a spirit of fear, I ignored that little voice. After all, we can’t live our life by “what ifs.” It was 36 degrees when we left the house today, and I couldn’t dream of better weather for our little hike. I pack the car with coats (we didn’t even need them from the house to the car!), the camera (of course), a blanket, and stepladder (for the camera because we left the tripod at Josh’s parent’s house over Christmas). We wore two pairs of socks and boots, hats, gloves, and scarves, and I had my cell phone on me. We talked about going slow and holding hands and not touching the icicles and staying away from any running water. We were as prepared as I thought we could be.
We went VERY slowly down the dozens of wooden stairs leading down to the canyon. After we made it halfway down, Princess said she did need her coat after all; I was a little impatient at the time, but it turned out to be important. The stairs were solidly packed with snow, which made every step a little tenuous, but we made it just fine.
What awaited us was a beautiful winter wonderland. The weather was so warm that the giant icicles were starting to drip, and it was so silent that you could hear every drop of water.
We are planning on making a mini-scrapbook of her all the fun activities we’ve been doing since she came, so we snapped a few photos (you can view them here). We were having a great time, playing in the snow, and she was as in awe of this miracle of an ice waterfall as I was.
I went to put the camera on the stepladder so we could take a shot of the two of us for the scrapbook, when I heard
CRACK!
As I whipped my head around, “NIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Princess was standing waist deep in snow: “It’s cold, it’s cold, it’s cold, it’s cold!!!!!!!!!!!!”
As I stepped to pull her out (I had only been about 10 feet away), I saw that she had been trying to get close to see the shallow river, and had stepped right through the ice!
Even though it was above freezing, getting wet increases your chances of hypothermia and frostbite exponentially. According to the United States Search and Rescue Task Force http://www.ussartf.org/cold_water_survival.htm, cold water robs the body of heat 32 times faster than cold air. They define “cold” water as around 70 degrees and below, so I have no idea the effect of freezing water that has been right under ice. To say the least, I was scared, and there was nobody around to help.
(continued tomorrow)
I recently photographed an engagement shoot at a local frozen waterfall, and I have wanted to take Princess there since then, and thought this would be the perfect opportunity. I felt a little unsure, like maybe it was unwise to take her to this place by myself (Josh was at work). What if I fell and broke my ankle? What if we got the car stuck? What if….?
But, not wanting to live in a spirit of fear, I ignored that little voice. After all, we can’t live our life by “what ifs.” It was 36 degrees when we left the house today, and I couldn’t dream of better weather for our little hike. I pack the car with coats (we didn’t even need them from the house to the car!), the camera (of course), a blanket, and stepladder (for the camera because we left the tripod at Josh’s parent’s house over Christmas). We wore two pairs of socks and boots, hats, gloves, and scarves, and I had my cell phone on me. We talked about going slow and holding hands and not touching the icicles and staying away from any running water. We were as prepared as I thought we could be.
We went VERY slowly down the dozens of wooden stairs leading down to the canyon. After we made it halfway down, Princess said she did need her coat after all; I was a little impatient at the time, but it turned out to be important. The stairs were solidly packed with snow, which made every step a little tenuous, but we made it just fine.
What awaited us was a beautiful winter wonderland. The weather was so warm that the giant icicles were starting to drip, and it was so silent that you could hear every drop of water.
We are planning on making a mini-scrapbook of her all the fun activities we’ve been doing since she came, so we snapped a few photos (you can view them here). We were having a great time, playing in the snow, and she was as in awe of this miracle of an ice waterfall as I was.
I went to put the camera on the stepladder so we could take a shot of the two of us for the scrapbook, when I heard
CRACK!
As I whipped my head around, “NIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Princess was standing waist deep in snow: “It’s cold, it’s cold, it’s cold, it’s cold!!!!!!!!!!!!”
As I stepped to pull her out (I had only been about 10 feet away), I saw that she had been trying to get close to see the shallow river, and had stepped right through the ice!
Even though it was above freezing, getting wet increases your chances of hypothermia and frostbite exponentially. According to the United States Search and Rescue Task Force http://www.ussartf.org/cold_water_survival.htm, cold water robs the body of heat 32 times faster than cold air. They define “cold” water as around 70 degrees and below, so I have no idea the effect of freezing water that has been right under ice. To say the least, I was scared, and there was nobody around to help.
(continued tomorrow)
Saturday, June 19, 2010
We Will Praise You In This Storm
I am literally in the middle of a storm (on Thursday night). I'm not talking about a metaphorical, blog-type storm, but rather a storm system full of tornadoes. We have been sitting in the basement bathroom of the house we rent, just hanging out. The lights have flickered, but the internet has stayed on the whole time, which is one of those curious modern-day situations I can't quite understand.
This storm has been...well, intense. Usually it seems as if the National Weather Service issues a tornado warning, we all seek shelter, and nothing happens.
But this time is different.
I am not sure of all the facts right now. What I do know is that the radio keeps throwing around phrases like "half-mile wide tornado," and "people trapped in their house," and "warning has been extended."
The house of our dear family friends just flew away- with them underneath it. It's so strange for me to even imagine. All I can think of is the "Wizard of Oz." I was literally at the beach with them this morning. Until I heard that they were safely at my parent's house, all I could wonder was if that was the last time I would see them. There are literally holes in their yard from where trees were just picked up out of the ground. They are rounding up cattle because all of their outbuildings are gone, too.
I think we here death and destruction and disaster sensationalized so much on the news nowadays (I cannot believe I just used that word), that we forget the layers present in ever story, in every number. Each number is a life, full of hopes and dreams and responsibilities and potential. Each life connects to hundreds of other lives. God loves each life each number represents. When tragedy hits home- literally- it challenges you to actually think, to feel, to have compassion for others. In some ways, desensitization may be healthy- imagine if we were overcome with grief every time we heard about something horrible happening. We would hardly be able to function in daily life (as someone who is strongly mercy-oriented, I say this from experience). However, being desensitized to the point of not feeling is pathological.
***************************************
The National Weather Service tornado warning for our area finally expired. Now it's time for dinner (at 9pm), so this will have to be continued... : )
This storm has been...well, intense. Usually it seems as if the National Weather Service issues a tornado warning, we all seek shelter, and nothing happens.
But this time is different.
I am not sure of all the facts right now. What I do know is that the radio keeps throwing around phrases like "half-mile wide tornado," and "people trapped in their house," and "warning has been extended."
The house of our dear family friends just flew away- with them underneath it. It's so strange for me to even imagine. All I can think of is the "Wizard of Oz." I was literally at the beach with them this morning. Until I heard that they were safely at my parent's house, all I could wonder was if that was the last time I would see them. There are literally holes in their yard from where trees were just picked up out of the ground. They are rounding up cattle because all of their outbuildings are gone, too.
I think we here death and destruction and disaster sensationalized so much on the news nowadays (I cannot believe I just used that word), that we forget the layers present in ever story, in every number. Each number is a life, full of hopes and dreams and responsibilities and potential. Each life connects to hundreds of other lives. God loves each life each number represents. When tragedy hits home- literally- it challenges you to actually think, to feel, to have compassion for others. In some ways, desensitization may be healthy- imagine if we were overcome with grief every time we heard about something horrible happening. We would hardly be able to function in daily life (as someone who is strongly mercy-oriented, I say this from experience). However, being desensitized to the point of not feeling is pathological.
***************************************
The National Weather Service tornado warning for our area finally expired. Now it's time for dinner (at 9pm), so this will have to be continued... : )
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
An Update:
I am a terrible person...well, at least I am a terrible blogger. I have hardly written anything since we got home going on 2 months ago. To be sure, we have been SUPER busy and had a ton to adjust to. I remember hearing someone complain about how stressful a [minor] situation was in her life and thinking, i am moving for the second time this month, helping my husband search for a job, interviewing at my new graduate school, launching a business, and adjusting to culture shock to my own culture- and that's all just this week!!! Part of me wanted to shake her by the shoulders and tell her to get a grip. Thankfully, the more rational side of me won out, and I was reminded that everyone is in a different place, and we are called to meet people where they are at. It has been a common challenge.
I am not done with blogging simply because we are back in the U.S. I have dozens, if not hundreds, more stories and pictures to share with you- of ministry, spiritual epiphanies, travel adventures, struggles, and new endeavors. Our life has continued to be eventful. There are fleeting moments when I wish for less stress, but then I realize I wouldn't be able to handle the boredom that inevitably accompanies a stress-free life. I am grateful for what God has given us.
I have missed writing and sharing with you, if for no other reason than it has given me a concrete way to process my experiences, emotions, and ideas. I have missed putting what's inside of me into words, and freeing myself from the duty of keeping it hidden. I will do more of that, but not for a short while. In the first few weeks, it took all of my energy just to adjust to jet lag, see loved ones, and answer the all-to-common question "How was Africa?" It took and takes all of my willpower not to respond with, "Well, how was your last year in a few appropriately brief phrases?" I know people mean well, but it is not exactly a well-thought-out question. But I digress...after the first few weeks, I continued to feel exhausted and under the weather, which I attributed to allergies. After all, we are around allergens we haven't been exposed to in almost 2 years (having left at the end of winter and all).
But as I found out Sunday, it turns out that I have mono. When I think about it, it makes so much sense. It's just that I didn't think of it. The fact that I have an autoimmune disorder that presents almost exactly like mono doesn't help either, but I am happy to know it is something that will eventually go away, and that I am not just incapacitatingly allergic to my beloved Minnesota. With all this in mind, it may be a week or two before you hear from me again, but hear from me you will. We have a lot of catching up to do.
I am not done with blogging simply because we are back in the U.S. I have dozens, if not hundreds, more stories and pictures to share with you- of ministry, spiritual epiphanies, travel adventures, struggles, and new endeavors. Our life has continued to be eventful. There are fleeting moments when I wish for less stress, but then I realize I wouldn't be able to handle the boredom that inevitably accompanies a stress-free life. I am grateful for what God has given us.
I have missed writing and sharing with you, if for no other reason than it has given me a concrete way to process my experiences, emotions, and ideas. I have missed putting what's inside of me into words, and freeing myself from the duty of keeping it hidden. I will do more of that, but not for a short while. In the first few weeks, it took all of my energy just to adjust to jet lag, see loved ones, and answer the all-to-common question "How was Africa?" It took and takes all of my willpower not to respond with, "Well, how was your last year in a few appropriately brief phrases?" I know people mean well, but it is not exactly a well-thought-out question. But I digress...after the first few weeks, I continued to feel exhausted and under the weather, which I attributed to allergies. After all, we are around allergens we haven't been exposed to in almost 2 years (having left at the end of winter and all).
But as I found out Sunday, it turns out that I have mono. When I think about it, it makes so much sense. It's just that I didn't think of it. The fact that I have an autoimmune disorder that presents almost exactly like mono doesn't help either, but I am happy to know it is something that will eventually go away, and that I am not just incapacitatingly allergic to my beloved Minnesota. With all this in mind, it may be a week or two before you hear from me again, but hear from me you will. We have a lot of catching up to do.
Friday, April 30, 2010
No Good, Very Bad Day Morning
As we wrapped up our time in Africa, I looked back over some of my old journal entries and found a few that I would like to share. Today's is from later on March 16, 2010:
________________________
Today has been a bit of a challenge. I am badly sunburned and covered with huge mosquito bites (but I can't scratch because of the sunburn). I am sick with a runny nose (a roll of toilet paper that doubles as kleenex is my constant companion), sinus headache, and a cough. My lungs hurt quite badly- I am not sure if it is the cough, altitude, or adjustment to humidity. Maybe it's all three. I can't take my medication that requires electricity, because we don't have any power. I broke my white sunglasses 2 days ago, and my black ones fell off my head today under a waterfall, so no hope of recovery. As I opened our cabin door, something on the other side stung my finger. Then I walked into our slanted door frame while borrowing Josh's sunglasses and they shattered on my head. Who knew they were actually glass? This was all before lunch.
The caretaker suggested maybe I should just sit down and rest... so I did : S
________________________
Today has been a bit of a challenge. I am badly sunburned and covered with huge mosquito bites (but I can't scratch because of the sunburn). I am sick with a runny nose (a roll of toilet paper that doubles as kleenex is my constant companion), sinus headache, and a cough. My lungs hurt quite badly- I am not sure if it is the cough, altitude, or adjustment to humidity. Maybe it's all three. I can't take my medication that requires electricity, because we don't have any power. I broke my white sunglasses 2 days ago, and my black ones fell off my head today under a waterfall, so no hope of recovery. As I opened our cabin door, something on the other side stung my finger. Then I walked into our slanted door frame while borrowing Josh's sunglasses and they shattered on my head. Who knew they were actually glass? This was all before lunch.
The caretaker suggested maybe I should just sit down and rest... so I did : S
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Attitude is Nine-Tenths of the Law
As we wrapped up our time in Africa, I looked back over some of my old journal entries and found a few that I would like to share. Today's is from February 23, 2010:
________________________
We are trying to straddle so many areas of life at once right now. We are trying to wrap up ministry and leave relationships in a good place. We are planning our overland trip. We are packing. We are trying to take care of grad school and housing and jobs for home. At times I feel like my head is just spinning.
Through all this change, Lord, help me to focus on you, and to know that everything here on earth is temporary.
Today in “Streams in the Desert,” it says
That's a thought-provoking idea, and one that should liberated us from fear of difficulty and temptation. But, the clear stipulation is that you have to receive it in the right way. I am not sure exactly what that means, but it sounds like it has a lot to do with attitude. I pray I can grow to have a learning attitude towards trials and challenges, because they are always going to be a part of life.
________________________
We are trying to straddle so many areas of life at once right now. We are trying to wrap up ministry and leave relationships in a good place. We are planning our overland trip. We are packing. We are trying to take care of grad school and housing and jobs for home. At times I feel like my head is just spinning.
Through all this change, Lord, help me to focus on you, and to know that everything here on earth is temporary.
“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered-how fleeting my life is.
You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
At best, each of us is but a breath.”
-Psalm 39: 4-5
Today in “Streams in the Desert,” it says
“Every difficulty and every temptation that comes our way, if we receive it correctly, is God'sopportunity.”
That's a thought-provoking idea, and one that should liberated us from fear of difficulty and temptation. But, the clear stipulation is that you have to receive it in the right way. I am not sure exactly what that means, but it sounds like it has a lot to do with attitude. I pray I can grow to have a learning attitude towards trials and challenges, because they are always going to be a part of life.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Just Breathe
Lately, our life seems to be on some sort of speed-up mode. We have more places to be, more things to accomplish, more to pray about, more decisions to make. I guess that's what happens when you are straddling 2 "different" lives on 2 very different continents. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed, and just feel certain that I will never accomplish all that needs to be done. I get so wrapped up in the cares of this world that I forget what really matters.
If you've read this blog, you know my love for sunsets, not just for their beauty but for their symbolism as well. At the end of the day, they are my breath of fresh air. They are my reminder to slow down and not waste this moment worrying about things outside my control. If He makes a fiery ball of elements look like this, how much more can He do with those made in His image?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
What's Your Score?
Recently, I wrote a curriculum to use with foster parents. The subject was stress, and I included a little test that I had taken in college. It’s certainly not comprehensive, but it gives you an idea of where you are at. Try it yourself; for each life change that has happened in your life in the past year, circle the number to the left. If you aren’t sure if it applies, use your best judgment. When finished, go back and add up the numbers.
100 Death of spouse
73 Divorce
65 Marital separation
63 Jail
63 Death of a close family member
53 Major injury or illness
50 Marriage
47 Fired from work
45 Marital reconciliation
45 Retirement
44 Major change in health or behavior of a family member
40 Pregnancy
39 Sexual difficulties
39 New family member (birth, adoption, someone moving in)
39 Major business readjustment (reorganization, bancruptcy, etc)
38 Major change in financial status
37 Death of a close friend or more distant family member
36 Change to a different line of work
35 Major change in number of arguments with spouse
31 Taking out a mortgage or loan for a major purpose
30 Forclosure of mortgage or loan
29 Major change in responsibilities at work (promotion, demotion, transfer)
29 Son or daughter leaving home (marriage, attending college)
29 Trouble with in-laws
28 Outstanding personal achievement
26 Spouse starting or ending work
26 Starting or ending schooling (long-term)
25 Major change in living conditions (moving, remodeling, building new home)
24 Change in personal habits (dressing, manners)
23 Trouble with your boss
20 Major change in working hours or conditions
20 Change of residence (new town, new state)
20 Change in schools
19 Major change in usual type or amount of recreation
19 Major change in church activities (a lot more or less than usual)
18 Major change in social activities (a lot more or less than usual)
17 Taking out a loan for a smaller purchase (such as car, TV, freezer)
16 Major change in sleeping habits (a lot more or less than usual, change in
part of day when you sleep)
15 Major change in family get-togethers (a lot more or less than usual)
15 Major change in eating habits (a lot more or less than usual, different meal
hours or surroundings)
13 Vacation
12 Christmas/holiday season
11 Minor violations of the law (traffic tickets)
Do you have your score?
Below 150-Low stress: Only 30% of people with scores below 150 will probably encounter a significant health problem soon.
151-299 Moderate stress: 50% of people with scores between 150-300 will probably encounter a significant health problem soon.
Above 300 High stress: 80% of people with scores above 300 will probably encounter a significant health problem soon.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that if you have high stress you will get sick. To me, it is just a heads up that you have to be careful, and remember to do lots of things that relieve stress.
I scored 591. So, that’s relatively high. Quite frankly, that only includes one of our 4 moves this year, but that is not the point. [I don't say this to be one of those people who always takes pride about how busy they are. Do you notice how that has become part of American culture? It's like if you aren't overcommitted, you aren't doing anything. Ugh.] What I take away from this is not that I am on my deathbed or something, quite the contrary. I know that God is protecting us. I know that He is faithful, and that gives me so much peace.
At times, I have felt like a hypocrite when teaching about stress. I have a lot of answers and suggestions, but I fail to use them myself. I am working on it. There is a good chance that I will have a moderate to high amount of stress for most of my life, so I am learning to manage it.
The other helpful thing? It’s nice to know you’re not crazy. From now on, when I feel the stress is overwhelming me, I think I might just say “591” over and over. It’s like permission to feel overwhelmed, to just accept it. Stress is a part of life, and that’s okay.
100 Death of spouse
73 Divorce
65 Marital separation
63 Jail
63 Death of a close family member
53 Major injury or illness
50 Marriage
47 Fired from work
45 Marital reconciliation
45 Retirement
44 Major change in health or behavior of a family member
40 Pregnancy
39 Sexual difficulties
39 New family member (birth, adoption, someone moving in)
39 Major business readjustment (reorganization, bancruptcy, etc)
38 Major change in financial status
37 Death of a close friend or more distant family member
36 Change to a different line of work
35 Major change in number of arguments with spouse
31 Taking out a mortgage or loan for a major purpose
30 Forclosure of mortgage or loan
29 Major change in responsibilities at work (promotion, demotion, transfer)
29 Son or daughter leaving home (marriage, attending college)
29 Trouble with in-laws
28 Outstanding personal achievement
26 Spouse starting or ending work
26 Starting or ending schooling (long-term)
25 Major change in living conditions (moving, remodeling, building new home)
24 Change in personal habits (dressing, manners)
23 Trouble with your boss
20 Major change in working hours or conditions
20 Change of residence (new town, new state)
20 Change in schools
19 Major change in usual type or amount of recreation
19 Major change in church activities (a lot more or less than usual)
18 Major change in social activities (a lot more or less than usual)
17 Taking out a loan for a smaller purchase (such as car, TV, freezer)
16 Major change in sleeping habits (a lot more or less than usual, change in
part of day when you sleep)
15 Major change in family get-togethers (a lot more or less than usual)
15 Major change in eating habits (a lot more or less than usual, different meal
hours or surroundings)
13 Vacation
12 Christmas/holiday season
11 Minor violations of the law (traffic tickets)
Do you have your score?
Below 150-Low stress: Only 30% of people with scores below 150 will probably encounter a significant health problem soon.
151-299 Moderate stress: 50% of people with scores between 150-300 will probably encounter a significant health problem soon.
Above 300 High stress: 80% of people with scores above 300 will probably encounter a significant health problem soon.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that if you have high stress you will get sick. To me, it is just a heads up that you have to be careful, and remember to do lots of things that relieve stress.
I scored 591. So, that’s relatively high. Quite frankly, that only includes one of our 4 moves this year, but that is not the point. [I don't say this to be one of those people who always takes pride about how busy they are. Do you notice how that has become part of American culture? It's like if you aren't overcommitted, you aren't doing anything. Ugh.] What I take away from this is not that I am on my deathbed or something, quite the contrary. I know that God is protecting us. I know that He is faithful, and that gives me so much peace.
At times, I have felt like a hypocrite when teaching about stress. I have a lot of answers and suggestions, but I fail to use them myself. I am working on it. There is a good chance that I will have a moderate to high amount of stress for most of my life, so I am learning to manage it.
The other helpful thing? It’s nice to know you’re not crazy. From now on, when I feel the stress is overwhelming me, I think I might just say “591” over and over. It’s like permission to feel overwhelmed, to just accept it. Stress is a part of life, and that’s okay.
Friday, October 23, 2009
My Constant Companion
I am a worrier. There, I’ve said it.
After Kelly’s post a while ago, I wrote the following in my journal:
[On anxiety]
God has given me the opportunity for great growth in this area as of late: moving 4 times in 6 months, the uncertainty of not having visas, being cut off from the life we are used to and the comforts of home. And yet, I still struggle- I want to trust and have peace.
When I think of the time and energy I have sacrificed in worry, it’s…embarrassing. I believe in the One Who Controls All,, who created the entire universe with the flick of His little finger, and I have wasted so much of my life caught up in the “what-ifs.” Years of my life.
The craziest realization? Anxiety and chasing down all the possible outcomes of a situation is usually so much more draining than what actually happens (usually). I see that it is foolish, and I should just stop worrying.
Problem solved!
Or not, because letting go is so much easier said than done. True anxiety becomes a lifestyle, one that is always tinged with skepticism, doubt, fear, and the need for control. Anxiety is the noose with which satan has tried to strangle my spirit.
Until this point, I have accepted it as a part of who I am, but that’s a lie. Anxiety is a condition forced upon us by the enemy, and one we don’t have to accept. Kelly’s post reminded me of that. We are not captive to our circumstances or inclinations; we have freedom in Christ. He has already won the struggle for us.
After Kelly’s post a while ago, I wrote the following in my journal:
[On anxiety]
God has given me the opportunity for great growth in this area as of late: moving 4 times in 6 months, the uncertainty of not having visas, being cut off from the life we are used to and the comforts of home. And yet, I still struggle- I want to trust and have peace.
When I think of the time and energy I have sacrificed in worry, it’s…embarrassing. I believe in the One Who Controls All,, who created the entire universe with the flick of His little finger, and I have wasted so much of my life caught up in the “what-ifs.” Years of my life.
The craziest realization? Anxiety and chasing down all the possible outcomes of a situation is usually so much more draining than what actually happens (usually). I see that it is foolish, and I should just stop worrying.
Problem solved!
Or not, because letting go is so much easier said than done. True anxiety becomes a lifestyle, one that is always tinged with skepticism, doubt, fear, and the need for control. Anxiety is the noose with which satan has tried to strangle my spirit.
Until this point, I have accepted it as a part of who I am, but that’s a lie. Anxiety is a condition forced upon us by the enemy, and one we don’t have to accept. Kelly’s post reminded me of that. We are not captive to our circumstances or inclinations; we have freedom in Christ. He has already won the struggle for us.
Friday, July 10, 2009
The Angry American and Hello Kitty
This has been, by far, the strangest week we have had in Africa so far (and that is saying a lot).
Our 4th of July was completely different than usual this year (not terribly shocking, huh?). Saturday morning, we celebrated by blasting “The Angry American” (by far our favorite patriotic song) in our flat. We celebrated with an afternoon braai at the 8-week-team’s house. As this is not America, no one celebrates the 4th of July here, and nobody even knows it’s a holiday. It emphasized to us that the U.S.A. is not the center of the world, like we often seem to think it is. However, I have never been prouder to be an American.
Homemade decorations elevated our patriotism.
The “Hello Kitty“ in the title of this post does not refer to the animated Japanese pop-culture icon, but rather to our new teammate! Kitty arrived with a 4-week team this weekend, and we couldn’t be happier to have her! She will be here for 6 months, and is the only other person scheduled so far to be in Rehoboth after August. We are so grateful for her willingness to serve, and are excited to get to know her.
Wednesday turned out to be an extremely stressful exciting day. As Josh and I were walking to the youth center in the morning, we realized there was a police officer standing on every corner of a particular road. We asked one what was going on, and he said the president was visiting. That explained an enormous SWAPO rally that had taken place in front of our house the night before. While we were meeting with the 4-week team about some youth center stuff, we sat outside, cameras poised (the youth center is along this road). Two hours after his scheduled arrival, we were able to take some pictures of the motorcade. It wasn’t much, but this is Rehoboth, and we’ll take any excitement we can get.
The motorcade, complete with a dozen or so squad cars
The President's actual vehicle.
Within an hour, we found out we needed to move; this was completely unexpected, and we had no notice, but Africa just works differently. Glory to God, we had a different place to stay within 2 hours! It will work well for us, and we are just excited we have somewhere to live.
Since we were dealing with all of this, we weren’t able to lead the youth program as usual, but the 10 people from the temporary summer teams were there, and they did a great job. This bodes well for when we are in Arandis.
For the next 2 weeks, we will be staying in Arandis, where we will be doing some work for Hope’s Promise. We are not certain of the details yet, but we know that I will be doing some sort of counseling, and Josh will be doing some maintenance and repairs, and possibly some work in the schools. It will be an adventure, something that has come up only recently. We are looking forward to seeing how we get to serve, but also a little apprehensive because we aren’t sure of what we will be doing. Please be praying that we will be able to glorify God in whatever we are asked to do!
Our 4th of July was completely different than usual this year (not terribly shocking, huh?). Saturday morning, we celebrated by blasting “The Angry American” (by far our favorite patriotic song) in our flat. We celebrated with an afternoon braai at the 8-week-team’s house. As this is not America, no one celebrates the 4th of July here, and nobody even knows it’s a holiday. It emphasized to us that the U.S.A. is not the center of the world, like we often seem to think it is. However, I have never been prouder to be an American.
Homemade decorations elevated our patriotism.
The “Hello Kitty“ in the title of this post does not refer to the animated Japanese pop-culture icon, but rather to our new teammate! Kitty arrived with a 4-week team this weekend, and we couldn’t be happier to have her! She will be here for 6 months, and is the only other person scheduled so far to be in Rehoboth after August. We are so grateful for her willingness to serve, and are excited to get to know her.
Wednesday turned out to be an extremely stressful exciting day. As Josh and I were walking to the youth center in the morning, we realized there was a police officer standing on every corner of a particular road. We asked one what was going on, and he said the president was visiting. That explained an enormous SWAPO rally that had taken place in front of our house the night before. While we were meeting with the 4-week team about some youth center stuff, we sat outside, cameras poised (the youth center is along this road). Two hours after his scheduled arrival, we were able to take some pictures of the motorcade. It wasn’t much, but this is Rehoboth, and we’ll take any excitement we can get.
The motorcade, complete with a dozen or so squad cars
The President's actual vehicle.
Within an hour, we found out we needed to move; this was completely unexpected, and we had no notice, but Africa just works differently. Glory to God, we had a different place to stay within 2 hours! It will work well for us, and we are just excited we have somewhere to live.
Since we were dealing with all of this, we weren’t able to lead the youth program as usual, but the 10 people from the temporary summer teams were there, and they did a great job. This bodes well for when we are in Arandis.
For the next 2 weeks, we will be staying in Arandis, where we will be doing some work for Hope’s Promise. We are not certain of the details yet, but we know that I will be doing some sort of counseling, and Josh will be doing some maintenance and repairs, and possibly some work in the schools. It will be an adventure, something that has come up only recently. We are looking forward to seeing how we get to serve, but also a little apprehensive because we aren’t sure of what we will be doing. Please be praying that we will be able to glorify God in whatever we are asked to do!
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