Friday, October 23, 2009

My Constant Companion

I am a worrier. There, I’ve said it.

After Kelly’s post a while ago, I wrote the following in my journal:

[On anxiety]
God has given me the opportunity for great growth in this area as of late: moving 4 times in 6 months, the uncertainty of not having visas, being cut off from the life we are used to and the comforts of home. And yet, I still struggle- I want to trust and have peace.

When I think of the time and energy I have sacrificed in worry, it’s…embarrassing. I believe in the One Who Controls All,, who created the entire universe with the flick of His little finger, and I have wasted so much of my life caught up in the “what-ifs.” Years of my life.

The craziest realization? Anxiety and chasing down all the possible outcomes of a situation is usually so much more draining than what actually happens (usually). I see that it is foolish, and I should just stop worrying.

Problem solved!

Or not, because letting go is so much easier said than done. True anxiety becomes a lifestyle, one that is always tinged with skepticism, doubt, fear, and the need for control. Anxiety is the noose with which satan has tried to strangle my spirit.

Until this point, I have accepted it as a part of who I am, but that’s a lie. Anxiety is a condition forced upon us by the enemy, and one we don’t have to accept. Kelly’s post reminded me of that. We are not captive to our circumstances or inclinations; we have freedom in Christ. He has already won the struggle for us.


Post a Comment